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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A Harmless Ghost Story<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Macabre but sweet too.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Never having met your parents, I can’t say if their personalities and voices ring true. I get the impression that they were a couple who groused and sniped at each other a good deal. My grandparents were like that. One wondered why they continued as a couple when they took so little joy in each other’s company. I think this piece is tongue-in-cheek, but holds a rye humor at the idea of them moving onward together.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Dear Mailbox<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Awkward phrasing: use of the word (most) in 2 adjacent lines.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>yet know we will most likely get let down<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>try: yet know we are likely to get let down.</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class=yiv0447886780msonormal style='margin:0in;background:white'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Most everything left us is pure junk.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Perhaps: most of what is left us is pure junk.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Perhaps it has much in common with dreamsI like the closing line.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>elevator pitch for Legend of Sly duck<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>I'm currently working on a story about a visually impaired duck who starts out walking south for the winter because she runs into things when she tries to fly.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>On her journey, she befriends a grasshopper, receives an adaptive device to help her fly, and proves her worth by saving a kingdom from an evil monarch. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>I’m unsure what purpose an elevator pitch for a book is meant to serve. If you used this as a back cover blurb, then it will need a bit of change excluding the first few words and being modified to read:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>The Legend of Sly Duck is the story of a visually impaired duck who starts out walking south for the winter because she runs into things when she tries to fly.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>On her journey, she befriends a grasshopper, receives an adaptive device to help her fly, and proves her worth by saving a kingdom from an evil monarch. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>I think it works well for this purpose.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>Sally<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>“NEEDS MUST”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I am unfamiliar with the word courgettes. I know there are a lot of different names for things across the water. I am also not sure what a vegetable marrow is either and haven’t eaten a ruttabega! Not even sure if I am spelling them right. However, I liked the poem. As always I can see this snapshot of life in the past. I can picture the large lumbering dogs but surely they didn’t just tear out the roses?Surely they kept slips to begin again once there was time and peace for roses. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cell: 573-544-3511<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Email: <a href="mailto:dqnoriega@gmail.com"><span style='color:#0563C1'>dqnoriega@gmail.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Author of <i>Fifty Years of Walking with Friends<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class=MsoNormal><i>https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>