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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My breath caught the morning light. Not sure how this would work. Perhaps My breath caught at the beauty of the morning light.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I liked the character discovery and the connection you built here. It carries the story well and adds depth to both Claudia and Veronica. Good conversation and excellent use of detail.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>There are several places where extra words occur that interfere with the narrative flow.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A stone (suddenly) punctured the tissue-thin layer of leather that was left on his right shoe. Try, A stone punctured the tissue-thin layer of leather on his right shoe. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>He didn’t notice a child’s skate on the sidewalk (he was walking on.) try ending this long sentence with a period after sidewalk.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>However, all he suffered (from) was a badly bruised left cheek. Perhaps changing left cheek to left buttock would be less ambiguous. Try, However, all he suffered was a bruised left buttock.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Drop the word always,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Veterans racer? Was the veteran racer the trainer or his horse or were they both veteran racers? Whichever, it isn’t clear if you meant two veterans race veteran racers, or veteran’s race. Also, you left the story unfinished in that we didn’t learn if watching the more experienced rider, his more experienced horse or both of them taught your horse how to run the barrel better. Given that each horse differs in how flexible they are, how much balance they have and even whether they have natural talent to exploit in this pursuit, it is hard to tell how much can be learned by watching alone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I am unsure if you intend both of these for the <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>back cover of your book. I think the second and<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> shorter piece sounds more like an introduction. Perhaps flip the order of these two. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> I liked both very much. I am sure your book will<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> be lovely. How could it fail to be given that your<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> gift lies in drawing the reader gently in to<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> each sepia toned <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>memory like a journey through time.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cell: 573-544-3511<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Email: <a href="mailto:dqnoriega@gmail.com"><span style='color:#0563C1'>dqnoriega@gmail.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Author of <i>Fifty Years of Walking with Friends<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class=MsoNormal><i>https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>