[Critique Group 1] cleora's May submission

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

I have attached a text file in case the format is messed up
This piece is a sequel to "Infected" that appeared in the spring/summer 2021 Magnets and Ladders.
I thought about 3 different titles. I'm interested in which you think is best.
Feel free to suggest something else if you think of something.

1323 words
possible titles
Passing It On
Transferred
Transmitted
by Sly Duck
Distracted by the doctor coming out to talk to him while he was waiting for his receipt, Cleatta's new blind client didn't notice that she dropped his credit card in her purse instead of giving it back to him.
Normally, she would wait to find out more about a new client's habits before borrowing a credit card, but the opportunity was too good to resist. She noted that he carefully tucked the receipt away after having her put some notes on it.
When the shift was over, he walked her to the door, and As she stepped out, he quickly stepped close to her and whispered “Infected,” in her ear.
She turned. “What?” she asked, but he had closed the door.
Infected? What does that mean? Cleatta shook her head. Old people are strange.
On her way home, she stopped at the grocery store. She decided to use the card she had just taken. It had a picture of a dolphin on the front. Cute, it looked like the tail twitched and the eye winked as she tapped it to complete the $215.82 purchase. She was careful to collect the receipt to put in his receipt folder when she returned his card at her next shift with him.
Suddenly, things looked blurry. It was like there was a thin film on her eyes. I’m just tired, she thought rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, her next shift was just staying with an elderly client until his daughter got home from work. She contemplated what she had just done. Usually, she would not charge more than $5 or $10 on a card. Large amounts tended to attract attention. Oh, well, No problem. She would get it and the receipt back to him on the next shift. Usually she had an opportunity two or three times a week to borrow a credit or debit card from a client, but the purchase she had just made would get her thru the next couple of weeks.
Then, there was still Mrs. Gracey. She was such a nice old lady. Cleatta had been her caregiver for close to two years now, and the old lady had never caught on. They usually went shopping. Mrs. Gracey never noticed when Cleatta put a few extra items in the basket. Unless someone checked closely, they would never notice an additional item or two that wasn't something the client would buy.
Speaking of Mrs. Gracey, she had a shift with her next week. She could pick up anything she forgot when they went shopping. That would put her in good shape for the rest of the month. Her paycheck would take care of everything else.
“Good night, Mrs. Gracey,” She said. See you in two weeks.
“Good night. Take care,” said Mrs. Gracey.
Cleatta stopped for gas on the way home. At the pump, she noticed the dolphin card in her wallet. “I need to get you back to your owner,” she told the card. It looked like the dolphin tail waved and its eye winked. I'm losing it, she thought. Turning the card over, she saw that someone had written what might be the PIN number in the signature bar. Well, as long as I still have it, I might as well use it. She inserted the card in the pump to pay for her gas, then went inside to use the ATM machine. She tried it and sure enough the number was the PIN. She took $200 cash. Okay, that's it. I've used it three times now. I need to give it back to the owner, and wait to make sure I haven't drawn attention.
On the way home, it seemed darker than usual. She remembered some of her friends mentioning that as they got older, they were starting to have trouble seeing at night. Was that happening to her? Next time she would pick up some supplements reported to help people see better at night.
Come to think of it, she hadn't been sent to a shift with the old man again. She called the agency and found out he was no longer a client. Had he missed the card and cancelled? That didn't make sense. If he thought a caregiver had taken his card, she would have gotten a call. In any case, she needed to get rid of it. Sense she couldn't return it, she would put it in the shredder. It didn't make sense, but it seemed like each time she used the card, her vision worsened.
Time passed and Cleatta noticed each time she tried to get rid of the dolphin card, it would be back in her purse next time she shopped. She was now sure that it wasn't a trick of the light. Each time she looked at the card, the tail twitched and the eye winked. She remembered long ago there was some art work or something that would make it look like a picture was changing if you tilted the picture sideways. That's all it is, she assured herself. The supplements weren't helping. She had been to an ophthalmologist. He didn't see anything wrong, but he sent her to a specialist that also couldn't find anything wrong. When she got her license renewed, night driving was restricted. So she could only take shifts that were during the daytime. Sometimes, her brother could drop her off and pick her up if part of the shift was after dark, but she wouldn't be able to drive the client. Finally, she decided to take the card back to the old man. He wasn't a client any more, but she knew where he lived. She would just drop by and tell him she had discovered the card and was returning it to him.
Strange, there was a new car parked in the driveway. Had he moved? She remember he was blind. He still had his old car, but he didn’t' drive any more. Maybe the people would know where he went. She rang the doorbell.
The old man opened the door. “Good afternoon, Cleatta. I've been expecting you.”
He held out a folded white cane to her. “You'll probably be needing this soon,” he said.
She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She shook her head and took a moment to compose herself. She reached in her purse and pulled out the card. holding it out to him, she said. “I'm so sorry. I realized I took your card the time I was here, but the agency told me you were no longer a client. It wasn't until now I realized I knew where you lived and could just bring it back to you.”
“That's ok,” he said, “it's yours now. I need to tell you that you must say 'infected' to the next person. Also, you will need to give them the blind cane.” He was still holding the cane out to her.
“No,” she said. “It's not my card.” She tried to put it in his hand.
He moved the folded cane over so the card stuck between the tubes. “No, it's yours now. The only way you can get rid of it is for someone to steal it. You must tell them 'infected' when they do. You will know when someone is about to steal the card, And if it is the same as with me, you will know when they are going to try to return it so you can give them the cane.”
“Don't worry,” he said. “I only had to wait 10 years. You might try caregivers. They steal all kinds of things. If you're lucky, and you present them with the right opportunity, you'll be able to get rid of the card in a few years. Or, sooner in this day and time.” His face twisted into an evil smirk, and with that, he dropped the cane at her feet, and closed the door.
-------------- next part --------------
1323 words
possible titles
Passing It On
Transferred
Transmitted
by Sly Duck

Distracted by the doctor coming out to talk to him while he was waiting for his receipt, Cleatta's new blind client didn't notice that she dropped his credit card in her purse instead of giving it back to him. 

Normally, she would wait to find out more about a new client's habits before borrowing a credit card, but the opportunity was too good to resist. She noted that he carefully tucked the receipt away after having her put some notes on it.

When the shift was over, he walked her to the door, and As she stepped out, he quickly stepped close to her and whispered “Infected,” in her ear.
She turned. “What?” she asked, but he had closed the door.

Infected? What does that mean? Cleatta shook her head. Old people are strange.

On her way home, she stopped at the grocery store. She decided to use the card she had just taken. It had a picture of a dolphin on the front. Cute, it looked like the tail twitched and the eye winked as she tapped it to complete the $215.82 purchase. She was careful to collect the receipt to put in his receipt folder when she returned his card at her next shift with him.

Suddenly, things looked blurry. It was like there was a thin film on her eyes. I’m just tired, she thought rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, her next shift was just staying with an elderly client until his daughter got home from work. She contemplated what she had just done. Usually, she would not charge more than $5 or $10 on a card. Large amounts tended to attract attention. Oh, well, No problem. She would get it and the receipt back to him on the next shift. Usually she had an opportunity two or three times a week to borrow a credit or debit card from a client, but the purchase she had just made would get her thru the next couple of weeks. 

Then, there was still Mrs. Gracey. She was such a nice old lady. Cleatta had been her caregiver for close to two years now, and the old lady had never caught on. They usually went shopping. Mrs. Gracey never noticed when Cleatta put a few extra items in the basket. Unless someone checked closely, they would never notice an additional item or two that wasn't something the client would buy.

Speaking of Mrs. Gracey, she had a shift with her next week. She could pick up anything she forgot when they went shopping. That would put her in good shape for the rest of the month. Her paycheck would take care of everything else.

“Good night, Mrs. Gracey,” She said. See you in two weeks.

“Good night. Take care,” said Mrs. Gracey.

Cleatta stopped for gas on the way home. At the pump, she noticed the dolphin card in her wallet. “I need to get you back to your owner,” she told the card. It looked like the dolphin tail waved and its eye winked. I'm losing it, she thought. Turning the card over, she saw that someone had written what might be the PIN number in the signature bar. Well, as long as I still have it, I might as well use it. She inserted the card in the pump to pay for her gas, then went inside to use the ATM machine. She tried it and sure enough the number was the PIN. She took $200 cash. Okay, that's it. I've used it three times now. I need to give it back to the owner, and wait to make sure I haven't drawn attention.

On the way home, it seemed darker than usual. She remembered some of her friends mentioning that as they got older, they were starting to have trouble seeing at night. Was that happening to her? Next time she would pick up some supplements reported to help people see better at night.

Come to think of it, she hadn't been sent to a shift with the old man again. She called the agency and found out he was no longer a client. Had he missed the card and cancelled? That didn't make sense. If he thought a caregiver had taken his card, she would have gotten a call. In any case, she needed to get rid of it. Sense she couldn't return it, she would put it in the shredder. It didn't make sense, but it seemed like each time she used the card, her vision worsened.

Time passed and Cleatta noticed each time she tried to get rid of the dolphin card, it would be back in her purse next time she shopped. She was now sure that it wasn't a trick of the light. Each time she looked at the card, the tail twitched and the eye winked. She remembered long ago there was some art work or something that would make it look like a picture was changing if you tilted the picture sideways. That's all it is, she assured herself. The supplements weren't helping. She had been to an ophthalmologist. He didn't see anything wrong, but he sent her to a specialist that also couldn't find anything wrong. When she got her license renewed, night driving was restricted. So she could only take shifts that were during the daytime. Sometimes, her brother could drop her off and pick her up if part of the shift was after dark, but she wouldn't be able to drive the client. Finally, she decided to take the card back to the old man. He wasn't a client any more, but she knew where he lived. She would just drop by and tell him she had discovered the card and was returning it to him.

Strange, there was a new car parked in the driveway. Had he moved? She remember he was blind. He still had his old car, but he didn’t' drive any more. Maybe the people would know where he went. She rang the doorbell. 

The old man opened the door. “Good afternoon, Cleatta. I've been expecting you.”

He held out a folded white cane to her. “You'll probably be needing this soon,” he said.

She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She shook her head and took a moment to compose herself. She reached in her purse and pulled out the card. holding it out to him, she said. “I'm so sorry. I realized I took your card the time I was here, but the agency told me you were no longer a client. It wasn't until now I realized I knew where you lived and could just bring it back to you.”

“That's ok,” he said, “it's yours now. I need to tell you that you must say 'infected' to the next person. Also, you will need to give them the blind cane.” He was still holding the cane out to her.

“No,” she said. “It's not my card.” She tried to put it in his hand.

He moved the folded cane over so the card stuck between the tubes. “No, it's yours now. The only way you can get rid of it is for someone to steal it. You must tell them 'infected' when they do. You will know when someone is about to steal the card, And if it is the same as with me, you will know when they are going to try to return it so you can give them the cane.” 

“Don't worry,” he said. “I only had to wait 10 years. You might try caregivers. They steal all kinds of things. If you're lucky, and you present them with the right opportunity, you'll be able to get rid of the card in a few years. Or, sooner in this day and time.” His face twisted into an evil smirk, and with that, he dropped the cane at her feet, and closed the door.