[Critique Group 1] cleora's February notes

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

[comments for Sally
As you confessed, there is no title.
I thought about it, but I didn't come up with a title to suggest.
It Sounds like a goodbye.
spring will come for the river but not for him.
There is so much feeling in this piece.
Not sure if it is pros or poetry. Reads mostly like pros
My brother and I were close as well. You're mention of it's hard to believe you both had the same parents. Same with me and my brother.
It has been 17 years now, and I still miss my brother.
[comments for DeAnna
I had to look up what a manatee (sea cow) is
herbavore aquatic that eat sea plants
a contemperary piece
no suggestions
[comments for Leonard
Cleora: I can picture each phase 
it usually takes a while for wild birds to eat and drink when captured.
natural habitat of the finch is dry desert 
desert grass land stream sites and forests
except that you mention others, I worry that the little bird was a pet bird released because the people didn't want it any more.
I have rescued a few animals. It is interesting that sometimes they seem to know we want to help and don't seem to be frightened.
Are you sure it wasn't asking to come back in?
[comments for Marsha
not sure if this is a typo 
line that ends Messenger for month…”
I think there should be an s on month months instead of month
I don't think of anything that might follow that would fit the singular
I take it that Claudia didn't reviel her low vision to the paper when she applied for the job.
I remember the discussion with her sister. Don't remember now if she was keeping it a secret or hadn't accepted it herself yet.
A second possible slight to the boss if he happened to notice Claudiea offered her hand to Michelle .
grrr I don't like Hamelton
The action is showing what kind of person Michelle is. 
Consider not spelling it out to the reader with the references to 
bitch in residence 
I'm confused.
Veronica thinks Claudia will get her job when she leaves, 
but she has the job Michelle wanted.
But Michelle  works for a furniture store and Veronica & Claudia are reporters?
I find this chapter a little confusing, but it may not be in context with the rest of the book.