[Critique Group 1] Martia's piece for Cleora

[Leonard Tuchyner]

613 words



Chapter 16



A second Look



 



After meeting with Veronica at the diner forbreakfast, I arrived at Claudia’s apartment shortly before noon for lunch.Claudia was wearing a pretty blue sweater and a cute denim skirt, cut well-aboveher knees. Her athletic legs drew my eyes down, but I heard Veronica’s warningin my head and forced myself to look up at her smiling face.



 



“Aren’t you off today?” she asked, wondering whyI was wearing my uniform on a Sunday.



 



“I had to meet someone this morning and take astatement,” I replied.



 



“Well, come on in,” she said, welcoming me witha warm smile. “I’m glad you accepted my invitation for lunch.”



 



I removed my gun belt and draped it over theback of her kitchen chair before following Claudia into the living room.Hitching up my pant legs, I settled into the well-worn nubby couch. Claudiahesitated, so I patted the green cushion beside me. She assumed a seat nearenough for me to cup her hand, but not close enough for our legs to touch.



 



Perched stiffly on the couch, Claudia said, “Canyou forgive me, Robbie, for writing such an insensitive editorial about DoeLake? I know that I haven’t been your favorite person since then …”



 



“Funny,” I said. “You’re the second one who saidthat to me today.”



 



Who was that?” Claudia looked puzzled. Don’t you get along with most everyone in town but me?”



 



“Actually, it seems that I’ve got a lot to learnabout women,” I said. “Sorry we got off to a bad start. I’m not used to someonewho speaks her minds so freely, you know, especially a liberated woman like youwho’s not from around here.”



 



“Sorry, but I’m accustomed to speaking my mind,”Claudia said. “Moving to Doe Lake feels like I’ve traveled back to a time whenwomen weren’t allowed to vote or pursue a career, unless it was nursing orteaching,” she added. “Maybe we can compromise,” she suggested. “I couldacknowledge that Doe Lake should cherish its traditions and small town ways,while you could consider that moving forward isn’t all bad.”



 



“I am interested in moving forward with you,” Isaid, toying with Claudia’s slender fingers, “but I can’t promise to understandthe women’s lib movement. Most country boys are simple when it comes to theladies,” I added. “We’re used to wearing the pants, you know, being theprotector and provider.”



 



“Oh, please. Life isn’t like the televisionshow, ‘Father Knows Best,’ Claudia said. “It’s the 1970s. Men and women canwork together as equal partners these days. You know, men benefit when womenare permitted to pull their weight.”



 



“I’m learning,” I said. “But old-fashioned guyslike me feel threatened by self-reliant girls like you who can take care ofthemselves. What would happen to the traditional family if all the women wantto work instead of raising children?”



 



Claudia answered my question with two questionsof her own. “Why can’t women have their cake and eat it, too? Men have it bothways, don’t they?”



 



“Okay then,” I countered, “if women want it bothways, why do men always have to pick up the dinner bill?”



 



“You’re hopeless,” she replied. “Let’s tablethis discussion until after lunch.” Claudia rose from the couch and Isheepishly followed her into the kitchen.



 



Her hands trembled as she laid out a simple menuof grilled cheese sandwiches, tuna salad, and potato chips on the table. Aftersitting, she folded and refolded her napkin.



 



Ever so smoothly, I changed the subject.



 



“Has Mr. K asked you to cover Doe Lake’s icefishing competition next week?”



 



“I’m planning to ski around the lake that dayand take pictures of the event for The Messenger,” she said. “Are youcompeting?”



 



“Yes. In fact, I can offer you a front rowseat,” I said. “I’ve got a shelter big enough for two. You can even dip a linethrough the hole yourself and see if you come up with a nice pan perch orpike.” Spreading my arms wide, I bragged, “Last year, I caught a two-foot Pikebut only came in second place.”



 



“How do you keep from freezing sitting on theice all day?” Claudia asked.



 



“I have a little propane heater, and I sit on acooler while enjoying a six-pack of beer. We could keep each other warm in theshanty,” I suggested.



 



“Why do you need a cooler to keep the beer coldif it’s freezing outside?” Claudia asked evasively.



 



“The cooler’s not for the beer. It’s for thefish,” I chuckled.



 



“Let me think about it,” Claudia said. “Itcertainly would be a new experience for me.  By the way, are women allowedto compete in the contest?”



 



“Well,” I hedged. “Women play an important roleat the event. They keep the men warm, and they can help clean the catch.”



 



“Oh, please.” Claudia launched back into herwomen’s lib lecture. “Only men can compete for the prizes?”



 



“Well, maybe I could ask the contest organizersto consider a special category for females next year,” I mumbled, stuffingpotato chips into my mouth.



 



Claudia stood and carried her half-empty plateto the sink. “Don’t do me any favors, Robbie,” she said, confronting me witharms crossed across her pretty chest.



 



“Now, Claudia, be fair,” I said, standing up formyself. “No one has complained about the rules before now. It takes time tochange traditions in a small town.”



 



“Some traditions are outdated,” she argued. “Doyou think women in Doe Lake are mindless robots like the Stepford Wives? Tellme, Robbie. What exactly are you looking for in a woman, anyway?”



 



“Well, the usual, you know,” I coughed into myfist to disguise my discomfort.



 



Someone to cook and clean and massage your ego?”she said.  “Sorry, that’s not me.”



 



“Naw, that’s not what I mean,” I struggled toexplain. “It’s just that good old boys like me are comfortable with things theway they are.”



 



Just because a woman has her own opinions andideas doesn’t mean she’s a man-hater, you know,” Claudia retorted.



 



“So, you don’t hate me?” I advanced and pressedClaudia into my arms, moaning with satisfaction. For one sweet moment, shemelted into my embrace, but then, abruptly she pushed me away.



 



“Don’t tell me you were with Gloria Vanderbiltthis morning,” Claudia shouted, her face as red as a lobster.



 



“Gloria Vanderbilt?” I asked, confused.



 



“I would recognize the aroma of Ronnie’strademark perfume anywhere. You were with Veronica this morning, weren’t you?”Claudia accused.



 



“Wait, I can explain,” I protested. “Veronica didn’twant anyone to know that I was with her earlier. She asked me to keep ourmeeting a secret.”



 



“Of course she did,” Claudia persisted. “Shewouldn’t want me to know that the two of you were together.”



 



“That’s not it,” I said, reaching for her again.“It was strictly business,” I tried to explain.



 



“Business?” Claudia stepped away. “I know allabout Veronica’s interest in funny business. This must have been the news shewanted to tell me about. Why did I think I could trust either one of you?



 



I tried to object, but Claudia was having noneof it. Ready to escape the heat of her kitchen, I grabbed my gun belt from thechair.



 



“Please leave,” she fumed, “and feel free totell Veronica that her little secret is out.”



 



Claudia pushed me out the door and the lockclicked behind me. Retreating down the stairs, I was disturbed by the sound ofher muffled tears.



 



Damn it. I had blown it again, although I wasn’tquite sure what I’d done wrong. I had honored my promise to Veronica, but I hadpissed off Claudia in the process. Sometimes, a guy couldn’t win, no matter howhard he tried. Should I have exposed Veronica’s secret to Claudia, or should Ihave refused to make a promise to Veronica. Women sure were complicated. Ifonly men could get along without them, I thought. Perhaps local girls wereeasier to be around, after all. A simple woman like Chicky would be happy tokeep me warm in a cold hut during the ice fishing festival, I thought.



 



* * *



 



Claudia had fussed all night over what to wearafter Robbie accepted her invitation to stop by for lunch the next day. Shewanted to look attractive without looking like she was trying too hard. She wasworking to update her casual college clothes, but she couldn’t begin to competewith Veronica’s trendy wardrobe. At the last minute, she settled on a shortdenim skirt with a periwinkle wool sweater and matching knee socks.



 



It had been a bumpy road – moving alone acrossthe country to a small town where she didn’t belong, vying against Veronica’sallure for Robbie’s attention, and then losing the town’s trust because of heroffensive editorial. Her confidence was shaken. Unlike her mother who hadsacrificed her dreams for marriage, or the women in Doe Lake who protected andpreserved traditional family values, Claudia was hoping to find some kind ofmiddle ground.



 



For a brief moment, Claudia felt cherished whenRobbie cradled her hand on the couch. What a fool she’d been, Claudia thought,believing in friendship and love. Hadn’t she already learned the hard way thatthe fantasy of happily ever after was only true in fairy tales? In real life,there was only hurt and disappointment. Like a child gripping a magicalballoon, she wanted to believe in love, but she knew all too well that dreams,like balloons, could burst.



 



# # #



 



_______________________________________________
Group1 mailing list
Group1 at bluegrasspals.com
https://bl

 

 

613 words



Chapter 16



A second Look



 



After meeting with Veronica at the diner forbreakfast, I arrived at Claudia’s apartment shortly before noon for lunch.Claudia was wearing a pretty blue sweater and a cute denim skirt, cut well-aboveher knees. Her athletic legs drew my eyes down, but I heard Veronica’s warningin my head and forced myself to look up at her smiling face.



 



“Aren’t you off today?” she asked, wondering whyI was wearing my uniform on a Sunday.



 



“I had to meet someone this morning and take astatement,” I replied.



 



“Well, come on in,” she said, welcoming me witha warm smile. “I’m glad you accepted my invitation for lunch.”



 



I removed my gun belt and draped it over theback of her kitchen chair before following Claudia into the living room.Hitching up my pant legs, I settled into the well-worn nubby couch. Claudiahesitated, so I patted the green cushion beside me. She assumed a seat nearenough for me to cup her hand, but not close enough for our legs to touch.



 



Perched stiffly on the couch, Claudia said, “Canyou forgive me, Robbie, for writing such an insensitive editorial about DoeLake? I know that I haven’t been your favorite person since then …”



 



“Funny,” I said. “You’re the second one who saidthat to me today.”



 



Who was that?” Claudia looked puzzled. Don’t you get along with most everyone in town but me?”



 



“Actually, it seems that I’ve got a lot to learnabout women,” I said. “Sorry we got off to a bad start. I’m not used to someonewho speaks her minds so freely, you know, especially a liberated woman like youwho’s not from around here.”



 



“Sorry, but I’m accustomed to speaking my mind,”Claudia said. “Moving to Doe Lake feels like I’ve traveled back to a time whenwomen weren’t allowed to vote or pursue a career, unless it was nursing orteaching,” she added. “Maybe we can compromise,” she suggested. “I couldacknowledge that Doe Lake should cherish its traditions and small town ways,while you could consider that moving forward isn’t all bad.”



 



“I am interested in moving forward with you,” Isaid, toying with Claudia’s slender fingers, “but I can’t promise to understandthe women’s lib movement. Most country boys are simple when it comes to theladies,” I added. “We’re used to wearing the pants, you know, being theprotector and provider.”



 



“Oh, please. Life isn’t like the televisionshow, ‘Father Knows Best,’ Claudia said. “It’s the 1970s. Men and women canwork together as equal partners these days. You know, men benefit when womenare permitted to pull their weight.”



 



“I’m learning,” I said. “But old-fashioned guyslike me feel threatened by self-reliant girls like you who can take care ofthemselves. What would happen to the traditional family if all the women wantto work instead of raising children?”



 



Claudia answered my question with two questionsof her own. “Why can’t women have their cake and eat it, too? Men have it bothways, don’t they?”



 



“Okay then,” I countered, “if women want it bothways, why do men always have to pick up the dinner bill?”



 



“You’re hopeless,” she replied. “Let’s tablethis discussion until after lunch.” Claudia rose from the couch and Isheepishly followed her into the kitchen.



 



Her hands trembled as she laid out a simple menuof grilled cheese sandwiches, tuna salad, and potato chips on the table. Aftersitting, she folded and refolded her napkin.



 



Ever so smoothly, I changed the subject.



 



“Has Mr. K asked you to cover Doe Lake’s icefishing competition next week?”



 



“I’m planning to ski around the lake that dayand take pictures of the event for The Messenger,” she said. “Are youcompeting?”



 



“Yes. In fact, I can offer you a front rowseat,” I said. “I’ve got a shelter big enough for two. You can even dip a linethrough the hole yourself and see if you come up with a nice pan perch orpike.” Spreading my arms wide, I bragged, “Last year, I caught a two-foot Pikebut only came in second place.”



 



“How do you keep from freezing sitting on theice all day?” Claudia asked.



 



“I have a little propane heater, and I sit on acooler while enjoying a six-pack of beer. We could keep each other warm in theshanty,” I suggested.



 



“Why do you need a cooler to keep the beer coldif it’s freezing outside?” Claudia asked evasively.



 



“The cooler’s not for the beer. It’s for thefish,” I chuckled.



 



“Let me think about it,” Claudia said. “Itcertainly would be a new experience for me.  By the way, are women allowedto compete in the contest?”



 



“Well,” I hedged. “Women play an important roleat the event. They keep the men warm, and they can help clean the catch.”



 



“Oh, please.” Claudia launched back into herwomen’s lib lecture. “Only men can compete for the prizes?”



 



“Well, maybe I could ask the contest organizersto consider a special category for females next year,” I mumbled, stuffingpotato chips into my mouth.



 



Claudia stood and carried her half-empty plateto the sink. “Don’t do me any favors, Robbie,” she said, confronting me witharms crossed across her pretty chest.



 



“Now, Claudia, be fair,” I said, standing up formyself. “No one has complained about the rules before now. It takes time tochange traditions in a small town.”



 



“Some traditions are outdated,” she argued. “Doyou think women in Doe Lake are mindless robots like the Stepford Wives? Tellme, Robbie. What exactly are you looking for in a woman, anyway?”



 



“Well, the usual, you know,” I coughed into myfist to disguise my discomfort.



 



Someone to cook and clean and massage your ego?”she said.  “Sorry, that’s not me.”



 



“Naw, that’s not what I mean,” I struggled toexplain. “It’s just that good old boys like me are comfortable with things theway they are.”



 



Just because a woman has her own opinions andideas doesn’t mean she’s a man-hater, you know,” Claudia retorted.



 



“So, you don’t hate me?” I advanced and pressedClaudia into my arms, moaning with satisfaction. For one sweet moment, shemelted into my embrace, but then, abruptly she pushed me away.



 



“Don’t tell me you were with Gloria Vanderbiltthis morning,” Claudia shouted, her face as red as a lobster.



 



“Gloria Vanderbilt?” I asked, confused.



 



“I would recognize the aroma of Ronnie’strademark perfume anywhere. You were with Veronica this morning, weren’t you?”Claudia accused.



 



“Wait, I can explain,” I protested. “Veronica didn’twant anyone to know that I was with her earlier. She asked me to keep ourmeeting a secret.”



 



“Of course she did,” Claudia persisted. “Shewouldn’t want me to know that the two of you were together.”



 



“That’s not it,” I said, reaching for her again.“It was strictly business,” I tried to explain.



 



“Business?” Claudia stepped away. “I know allabout Veronica’s interest in funny business. This must have been the news shewanted to tell me about. Why did I think I could trust either one of you?



 



I tried to object, but Claudia was having noneof it. Ready to escape the heat of her kitchen, I grabbed my gun belt from thechair.



 



“Please leave,” she fumed, “and feel free totell Veronica that her little secret is out.”



 



Claudia pushed me out the door and the lockclicked behind me. Retreating down the stairs, I was disturbed by the sound ofher muffled tears.



 



Damn it. I had blown it again, although I wasn’tquite sure what I’d done wrong. I had honored my promise to Veronica, but I hadpissed off Claudia in the process. Sometimes, a guy couldn’t win, no matter howhard he tried. Should I have exposed Veronica’s secret to Claudia, or should Ihave refused to make a promise to Veronica. Women sure were complicated. Ifonly men could get along without them, I thought. Perhaps local girls wereeasier to be around, after all. A simple woman like Chicky would be happy tokeep me warm in a cold hut during the ice fishing festival, I thought.



 



* * *



 



Claudia had fussed all night over what to wearafter Robbie accepted her invitation to stop by for lunch the next day. Shewanted to look attractive without looking like she was trying too hard. She wasworking to update her casual college clothes, but she couldn’t begin to competewith Veronica’s trendy wardrobe. At the last minute, she settled on a shortdenim skirt with a periwinkle wool sweater and matching knee socks.



 



It had been a bumpy road – moving alone acrossthe country to a small town where she didn’t belong, vying against Veronica’sallure for Robbie’s attention, and then losing the town’s trust because of heroffensive editorial. Her confidence was shaken. Unlike her mother who hadsacrificed her dreams for marriage, or the women in Doe Lake who protected andpreserved traditional family values, Claudia was hoping to find some kind ofmiddle ground.



 



For a brief moment, Claudia felt cherished whenRobbie cradled her hand on the couch. What a fool she’d been, Claudia thought,believing in friendship and love. Hadn’t she already learned the hard way thatthe fantasy of happily ever after was only true in fairy tales? In real life,there was only hurt and disappointment. Like a child gripping a magicalballoon, she wanted to believe in love, but she knew all too well that dreams,like balloons, could burst.



 



# # #



 



_______________________________________________
Group1 mailing list
Group1 at bluegrasspals.com
https://bl




 
 
Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author
 
https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/
 
  
 
 

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