[Critique Group 1] Thought I had already sent this

tuchyner5 at aol.com tuchyner5 at aol.com
Mon Jan 10 08:46:47 EST 2022


Very good.  



A great beginning to a story which should be atleast 4 more chapters.  



Just a typo in about two places. 



I think this is very good writing.




 



 


Cleoras sug for December 24, 2021




 



 


282 words



Reading level 3.5



Misty Christmas



by Sly Duck



Chapter One



Her anger spent, Misty sank down by the tree,hugged her thighs to her chest, and rested her head on her knees. She didn'tknow what time it was, but it had to be late. Dusk was settling over theforest. She had walked deep into the forest after the fight with her sister.Finally, her anger cooled, she had turned around. Thought she had turned aroundanyway, and started back the way she came. After walking for what must behours, she was thoroughly lost. If only she could see the sun, she would havesome idea which way to go. She remembered something about moss and trees. Mossgrows on the East? West? She couldn't remember, but it didn't matter, not asingle tree in sight showed any sign of moss. She closed her eyes and leanedher head back against the trunk. 




 


Did you mean to say a trumk?




 


Someday someone would find her skeleton andwonder if this was that girl that disappeared back however many years ago. Theparadox, they would say, is that she was 15 minutes from the edge, but... 



She felt something land on her shoulder. Shereached to brush it away. There was nothing there. Frowning, she rested herhand back on her knee. Feeling something again, she opened her eyes and turnedher head to see what it was. Something long and slender hovered just above herarm socket. It moved away when she moved toward it. She grabbed at it. It shotup out of reach. Probably a trick of the light, she decided. Shrugging, sheclosed her eyes and laid back against the tree,.



She felt something. Looking again, She squinted,trying to bring it into better focus. A little man or woman around three incheshigh with a round face, pointed chin and ears, and four wings like a dragonflyrested on her left shoulder.



“Hello, Misty,” said a high pitched quiet voice.



Misty jerked away. The, whatever, whoever, itwas fluttered up slightly.




 


Was fluttered up slightly?




 


Well, that was it, she had lost it. She wasseeing hallucinations. Was the next step for her to go screaming deeper intothe woods never to be found?



“No,” it said. “You haven't lost it. I'm aseeker elf,” it explained. “My name is... Well, never mind. You can call meGinger.”



Misty staired. She tried again to touch it. Itmoved away. That's it. She thought. I've gone mad.



“No, you haven't gone mad. I'm here to get yourhelp.”



“No, you're all in my mind. Otherwise, youwouldn't know what I'm thinking,” she said.



“No. I'm not reading your mind. It's just thatI've done this bit before. You're not that unique. You're just thinking thesame thing every human thinks the first time they see one of us.”



Misty's anger flared. Moving quickly, shegrabbed for the little creature. “I'm not just like everybody else.” 



The creature shot back to a safe distance. “Wedon't have all night. Can you get past the shock, disbelief, denial, and allthat phase so we can get down to business?”



Misty tried again to catch Ginger, but no matterhow or what she tried, the elf stayed safely out of reach. “ok,” she conceded.“If you are real, let me touch you.”



“Nice try, clever girl. You'll get me in yourhand and squeeze me. I have very delicate wings. They don't stand squeezingvery well. You're not my first contact. You've already touched me. I landed onyour shoulder. That's how you knew I was here.”



Misty thought about this for a while. “Okay,good point. But, maybe that was just the wind. Come light on my hand. Ipromise, no squeezing.”



Ginger continued to hover out of reach. “Okay.Put both hands behind your back, and lean back pinning them between your bodyand the tree trunk.”



Misty did as instructed. The elf slowlydescended until it rested lightly on her right knee. “Now, walk around alittle,” Misty said.



Ginger walked in a circle. Then, stopped, facingMisty.



Ginger rose into the air again as Misty broughther hands from behind her back. “Okay. Who are you? What do you Want? Are youhere to help me get home?”



“So you believe I'm real?”



“No, but as apparitions go,, you're my first,so, I'll go along with the gag.”



Ginger chuckled. “Okay, fair enough. Here's the deal.Santa Clause sent me. 



Misty's eyes grew wide, and her eyebrows shotup. “Okay, now I know you're my imagination. There's no such person as SantaClause.”



“Not in the way you think of Santa Clause,” saidGinger. “You see, every year, there are some families that need a little help.This year there are 60 that have been chosen to receive a boost for theholiday. Fifteen people like yourself have been chosen to solve their problem.Each has been assigned four individuals. Your job is to evaluate each subjectassigned to you and make sure they have a Merry Christmas. You can't revealyourself to them. You will be given some special powers, but you have to makeit appear they did it themselves”



“No, no, no, no,” said Misty. “I'm not yourgirl. First, this is just a fantasy brought on by hunger and exhaustion.Second, I'm lost, if you haven't noticed, so I'm not going to be helpinganybody. Third, ask anyone, I couldn't solve my way out of the grocery store.”



“once chosen, you have to do the job. If youfail, the subjects assigned to you will not have a Merry Christmas.”



“No. That's final,” said Misty. “This is a dreamor something. You are not real. This isn't real. I'm going to rest for a whileand see if I can figure how to get out of this woods and back home.” With that,Misty closed her eyes and laid her head back against the tree.



Several minutes passed in silence. Then, therewas a light touch on Misty’s hand.



Misty opened her eyes. Ginger stood quietly onthe back of Misty’s left hand. “Mosses flourish on any shady or damp side of atree. Mosses love moisture, so in the northern hemisphere, the northern sidewith its limited sunlight is most likely to stay damp. So ,the bryophyte ismost likely to grow on the north face. However, depending on the situation, itmay grow on all sides of the tree, or in areas of high pollution, it may notgrow at all. You are facing west, by the way.”



“You sound like Wikipedia.”




 


Do you mean to say a wikopedia?




 


“So, did you know all that? Did that come out ofyour imagination?”



Misty considered. “No, I guess not.”



“So, can we get down to business?”



“I’m still not your best person for this. Youneed to find someone else. Thanks for the info. I’ll see about getting homenow.” Misty got up and started to walk, and then realized she didn’t rememberwhich way she had been facing when told she was facing west.



“That way,” said Ginger pointing in the wayMisty should go. “By the way, the reason you got lost is because people don’twalk straight, as a general rule. You’ve been walking in circles. If you willlisten to me and agree to accept the job, I’ll help you get home.”



Misty considered. Don’t look a gift elf in theface, she thought. She could agree and then, once she was safely home, just goto bed and forget it.



“If you’re thinking about using me to get home,and then reneging on the agreement, forget it. I’ll be around to be sure you atleast try.”




 


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