[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on Sally's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

As usualyou tell a strong story in simple words. 



However,there are a few words that I would eliminate. 



Do you wishnot to have  a life in your 70’s..



 I understand why you might not want to, but ifyou were not in the  world, it would besadder.




 



 


Sally subfor feb 21
 



NIGHTVISITOR



 



By SallyRosenthal



 



 



She came tome in a deep sleep’s dream



Or perhapsin the moment hovering between dawn and waking.



Although wehad not met, I felt no fear



As I kneltbefore her sitting bulk.



 



Her soft,warm muzzle nudged my hand,



And Icupped it before my fingers moved up to silky ears




 


Leave outthe of




 


And thethick ruff that almost hid her collar.



Tracing solidshoulders and a strong back,



I felt myeager fingers move to grasp



a harnesshandle but hesitated



becausethis canine visitor did not belong to me.



In wordlesscommunion, we spoke heart language




 


as she toldme she was waiting for me on the pandemic’s other side,



Leave out “Forme””




 


To walkbeside me and guide me through my seventies.



Leave outone of the ‘me’s.”




 


Cautioningher that my older body and quiet days



Might meanI could not meet her there,



I knew wewould betogether in other lives and forms



Becauselove transcends time and place.



 



As shefaded into the night or dawn,



I woke tofeel the lingering warmth of her fur



On my handsand a flickering light in my soul.



   



 




 


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