[Critique Group 1] Marcia's October submission

[Marcia Wick]

Ruff, ruff!

 

End of the Road

700ish words

I'm looking for opinions on point of view, first or third.

 

POV - Third Person:

 

Claudia clenched the steering wheel of her old Chevy and squinted at the
exit sign ahead. Was it the end of the road? She'd covered more than 1,000
uncaptivating miles of interstate from Colorado to Michigan , and where was
she? In the middle of nowhere, She groaned. 

 

Claudia had jumped at the offer, her only offer, to work as a reporter for a
small town newspaper. She hadn't bragged to her fellow graduates about the
job, but the opportunity was a thousand times more attractive than moving
back home with her parents. That would be a terrific let down after
graduating a year early from college. Why a year early? The same reason. She
had enrolled in classes year round to avoid summers stuck as home with her
Mom and Dad. After 20 years, she was immune to their arguing, but it wasn't
her idea of fun to return to their crazy mind battles. 

 

. She whooped when the exit came into view. "Lake Holland, Michigan,
population 7,700." Easing off the accelerator, she veered off the highway.
Abruptly, towering trees encased the road and blocked the sun. The road
narrowed so suddenly that she pumped the brake to avoid swerving off the
edge. Lights out. She swiped off her sunglasses and was relieved to see a
pull out wide enough for her boat of a car. She slowed to a stop and gulp
for air. If there was one thing she dreaded, it was darkness, especially in
the middle of the day. Born with night blindness, Claudia feared tunnels,
caves, basements and spaces that swallowed the light she desperately needed
to see.

 

Her pupils enlarged slowly, leaking additional detail onto the back of her
retina. 

 

"Lake Holland State Park Entrance," read a characteristic forest service
sign. That sounded enticing, but first things first. Claudia advanced her
vehicle back onto the two-lane highway. The road turned away from the woods
into the sunlight revealing a picturesque village nestled in a valley.

 

At first view, the village appeared to be on fire. Oak and hickory trees
glowed in the fall sunshine.

 

# # #

 

Chapter One

End of the Road

 

POV First Person

 

I clenched the steering wheel of my old Chevy and squinted at the exit sign
ahead. Was it the end of the road? I'd covered more than 1,000 uncaptivating
miles of interstate from Colorado to Michigan to launch my career, and where
was I? In the middle of nowhere, I groaned. I had jumped at the offer, my
only offer, to work as a reporter for a small town newspaper. I didn't brag
to my fellow graduates about the dead end job, but the opportunity was a
thousand times better than moving back home with my parents. That would be a
real letdown after raduating a year early from college. Why a year early?
The same reason. I had enrolled in classes year round to avoid summers stuck
as home with Mom and Dad. After 20 years, I was immune to their arguing, but
it wasn't my idea of fun to return to their crazy mind battles. 

 

. I whooped when the exit came into view. "Lake Holland, Michigan,
population 7,700." Easing off the accelerator, I veered off the highway.
Abruptly, towering trees encased the road and blocked the sun. The road
narrowed so suddenly that I pumped the brake to avoid swerving off the edge.
It was lights out. I threw my sunglasses onto the dash and was relieved to
find a pull out wide enough for my boat of a car. I slowed to a stop and
gulp for air. If there was one thing I dreaded it was darkness, especially
in the middle of the day. Born with night blindness, I feared tunnels,
caves, basements and spaces that swallowed the light I desperately needed to
see.

 

My pupils enlarged slowly, leaking additional detail onto the back of my
retina. 

 

Lake Holland State Park Entrance, read a characteristic forest service sign.
That sounded enticing, but first things first. I advanced my vehicle back
onto the two-lane highway. The road fortunately turned away from the woods
back into the sunlight revealing a picturesque village nestled in a valley.

 

At first view, the village appeared to be on fire. Oak and hickory trees
glowed in the fall sunshine.

# # #

 

 

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