[Critique Group 1] Replacement submission from cleora

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

I am so sorry. I was looking today and realized I sent the draft and not the edited version of my submission.

Here is what you should have received. If you have time, please look this one over instead.

1526 words
Congratulations! You Are A Winner
by C. S. Boyd

Woo-Hoo! I'm a three million five hundred thousand dollar winner.

My phone rings, and I answer.

“This is John Wesley Harden with readers Discovery.
Are you familiar with Reader's Discovery?” the caller asks.

“Um, somewhat,” I stammer, thinking this is a call to get me to buy a subscription.

“You know, with publishers Copy house.
I’m calling to notify you of being a second prize winner.
We sent you a letter, but we didn’t hear from you. You are a Publisher's Copy House winner as of 16 July. Your name has been selected as winner of three million five hundred thousand dollars 
and a brand new C class Metal Mercedes car.”

We talk some more. Every so often he asks a question that should get a “yes” answer. I’m suspicious. I think I grunted uh-huh a couple of times, but I avoid ever outright saying the word “yes.”

“I need you to write down three pieces of information,” he continues. “Go get a pencil and paper to write this information down.”

I tell him to hold on while I go get a digital recorder and try to get it to start recording.
He was able to hear JAWS (my screen reader) in the background. He thought it was the TV, and told me to turn it down so he could give me all my winning details.

“This is 100% legitimate sure. For me here today,” he assures me.
“I want you to be listening keenly, so you can have all the information written the way you are supposed to.
name of company
Publisher's Copy house, The rd company. Stands for reader's Discovery.
address for company 
101 Winners Circle
Fort Washington, NY 11727
I would like you now to have the toll free number for the company.
876 483 7012.
Now, verify that back.”

I repeat back what he told me to write down.

“That's wonderful,” he says.
“Now, you need my badge number.
badge number PCH-RD881052 (PCH short for Publisher's Copy House RD stands for Reader's Discovery)”

He repeats his badge number.

“You're also going to need having down my full name.
My Full name that’s Mr. John Wesley Hardin.
I am the CEO manager and the prize control manager for both departments.
Now you’re going to have down the amount of money your name was selected for on the second place category.
That's three million five hundred thousand dollars. Congratulations!
Is this the first time you've ever won yourself a prize?”

“ No, I've won prizes before.”

“From our company also?”

“No, not from Publisher's Copy House.”

“And, you have down your three million five hundred thousand dollars??”

“I have it down. Three million five hundred thousand.”

“And, you're going to have down a C class Metal Mercedes?” 

“I have it down.”

“Do you still drive?”

“No. I don’t drive anymore.”

“How do you get around?”

“I have a car. Others drive it for me.”

“You don't sound very excited that you are a lucky winner here.”

“I’ll get excited when the money is in the bank, and the car in the garage.”

“Your prize should be delivered to you on Monday at 1:35 in the afternoon.
And, the only thing here to be registered by you to be a winner is your shipping and handling and registration fee.
To register your name under the government legal act so they can see that you have taken care of your shipping and handling fee and the registration fee on the prize.
Alright?”

“And how much is that fee?”

“Shipping and handling, that's 38 hundred. Write it down. And, the registration fee, then, is 15 hundred dollars.
The 38 hundred, that is going to be for the arrival of the package because the package is currently down in Dallas, Texas.”

“It is in Dallas right now?” 

“Yes, it is in Dallas right now. That's the curtesy why we're calling because you were supposed to receive this package last week, but we weren't able to get ahold of you.
We sent you a letter, but we still didn't get a response from you. That's you, the owner of the package.
That's the reason why your package is in Dallas and can't be transferred over to Fort worth. And, can't get everything delivered.
So I need you to read back everything from the beginning that you have on the paper.”

I repeat everything back to him.

Now it is time for me to quickly sprint to my purse for my credit card... 

WRONG!

“I can't pay that,” I say.

“You can't, or you won't?” he asks.

“I won't,” I answer.

“Get off here,” he commanded, and hung up.

I must say that reaction from him surprised me. I would have liked to continue the conversation a little longer to find out what kind of plan he would have come up with for me to pay the $5,300 in fees to get this bogus prize. Of course, I knew from the start this was a scam.

How did I know? 

The names used in the script are fictitious, but I'm very familiar with the types of prizes offered by the company in question. I had entered one of their contests, but I know this is not the way prizes are distributed, and this was not the second prize in the contest I entered. 

He said they had sent me a notice the week before and not heard from me. I never received any kind of letter or notice that I won any prize. I have won prizes before. Sometimes the prize just arrives in the mail. Other times, I get a phone call. Once, I had to go pick up the prize in a local contest. Any time I have won something in a contest I didn't enter, it has been a promotion of some type. I have never won a prize in a contest or sweepstakes I didn’t enter. If you haven't entered a contest, something is not right.

Did you notice how many times he tried to get me to say the word “yes?” If this is a scam call, they may be trying to get you to say “Yes.” So they can record it and use it as proof that you authorized a charge on a credit card or purchased a product or service.

This guy claims to be the CEO manager and the prize control manager for both departments. Why is this guy making these calls himself? If they can afford to give away 3.5 million dollars and a Mercedes as a second prize, shouldn’t he have a staff to do this? That’s like the promotional letters I get that are signed by the president. He is the sole proprietor of a small business.

By law, a company cannot require you to make a purchase as part of a prize entry. Granted, the shipping and registration fees are not technically a purchase, but I think if there is a registration fee involved, surely the company would be the one to pay that. I have never had to register any prize I have won. The shipping and handling fee is like the “Thank you” gifts I get from companies where I have to pay shipping and handling to get my free gift that I could buy for about the same cost as the S&H fee at any dollar or office supply store. It isn't a gift if I have to pay shipping and handling, or Buy a meal to get my free dinner. These last two examples aren't scams. They are promotions or a form of advertising. You do get something for the money spent. It's just not really a gift.

He says the “package” not “check” is in Dallas. Is he suggesting this is a cash prize? That would be a really big package. I guess that is supposed to justify the delivery fee.

To my knowledge, there is no government regulation requiring a person to register their prize. I have never had to register any prize I have won.

He didn't have a foreign accent, but he talked like someone who didn’t have a good command of the English language. This technique of using a foreign accent or poor grammar is used to weed out those who are not likely to fall for the scam. Those people will usually hang up as soon as the promoter starts talking. The scammers are looking for the naive gullible greedy person who just can't resist the possibility that it might be real.

However, as soon as my 3.5 mill is in the bank, and the new Mercedes safely in my garage, I'll gladly pony up the $5,300 shipping and registration fees if they are required.

The really bad news is that what these people are doing is cruel and unethical, but is not technically illegal according to the police and phone company. So, watch out folks. Don't get taken in. This was cheap. Not all of them are. Once they get your money, there is not a lot that can be done to prosecute or get your money back.