[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments for DeAnna's sub for June

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Obviously, the piece is too long to make focused coments.  




 


However, I enjoyed the humor  of thelight dialogue between the dogs and with the reporter and  the convention dogs. 




 


I particularly liked the descriptions of the character and appearance ofthe vareous  breeds and mixed breeds,common and not so common. 




 


It never occurred to me that a boxer could be a guide dog.  




 


The ending was a good one for the book.




 


Here is the rest of the book. It is 7,415words



 



*** *** ***



Doghouse Productions presents: SchoolDays, a skit written by DeAnna Quietwater Noriega



Thescene opens with four dogs comfortably relaxing under a table in the diningroom at a guide dog training facility. It is the first time they have beengathered together since being matched with the humans they are expected toguide.



Roxyis a petite German Shepherd. 



Arthuris a larger male shepherd with black predominating. 



Milo is a lab golden cross with a golden silkiness tohis fur. 



Heidiis a small black lab.



Silkaappears after the opening scene and is a golden retriever. 



 



Milo lifts his head and begins the discussion:



 



Milo: "Roxy! Who did you get? I got this olderlady who talks baby talk             to me!  She looks like a real softy. Bet I can wind her around my littlepaw in no time!  You know as a cross, I have my golden retriever daddy'scharm and the determination of my Labradormama! She doesn't stand a chance!"



 



Roxy:"That sounds cool Milo. But if I wereyou, I'd wait to work on her until you go home and there aren't any trainersaround to set her straight. Mine is this guy with huge feet. He doesn't seem toknow what to do with them. He has already stepped on my paw twice and it's onlybeen one afternoon. Still, as a shepherd, I expected to get a person whorequires real talent in his guide."



 



Arthur:"That is true, either someone who needs a lot of looking after or one whowill require professionalism in his guide. I have a lawyer working for thegovernment--very hush-hush you understand."



 



Heidi:"Boring! I got a guy who keeps missing his mouth. Boy am I going to cleanup! Heh heh heh. Um Roxy, I don't see your litter mate Rocco."



 



Roxy:(Sigh,) "I warned him that if he kept peeing on his trainer's shoes hewouldn't get picked in the first draft. He might make it next month if he canlearn to control his squirrel addiction. The trainer has put him in the 24 stepprogram. Oh here comes my kennel mate Silka. I am so glad she got amatch."



 



Silka:"I made the cut! I got this chubby lady with interesting smells on her shoes.I detected cat, horse and I think llama. That trainer with kids and a wife whoworks here has one of those and I've smelled that scent on him before. As agolden, I don't know if I will like living on a farm. There will be all thoseburrs and stuff to get tangled in my pretty fur. Anyone want to trade?  Ican slip my tie-down tonight and we could see if they notice the difference.How about it Milo?"



 



Milo: "It might be fun, but since I'm a male andyou're not, I don't know how long we could keep up the joke. But hey, it mightbe worth a try."



 



Arthur:"Last night, they brought in an older fellow who was coming home toretire.  He kept me awake half the night talking about the real world.Personally, I think it will be interesting to get on with my career. I havewalked the streets of this town so many times I could do it in my sleep. Evengoing in to the city gets stale after a while.



 



Silka:"I can hardly wait! I'll miss my trainer though."



 



Roxy:"Me too, I didn't eat tonight because the thought of leaving her behindand having to take charge of big foot all on my own seems a little scary."



 



Heidi:"No skipping meals for me thank you. I can hardly wait to get out of herewith all these trainers watching. My ambition is to fill out the extra folds inthis oversized labby hide of mine."



 



Arthur:"Let's have a little professionalism please. As graduates from the mostIvy-League of dog universities, we have a proud tradition to uphold when we goforth."



 



Milo: "Sure, Sure, don't get your tail in a knot,we will uphold the dignity thing, but what I am really looking forward to isthe freedom part!" Sleeping on beds, chewing up socks and let us notforget counter surfing here I come!"      Oops,heads up, everyone look sharp, here comes a trainer."



 



Thispeek into the under the table scene has been brought to you curtesy ofDog-house Productions starring the Hambone Players. The names have been changedto protect the guilty. 



 



***



Announcer: “Dog House Productions presents---



         “Dog Club” A radio play. 



Adapted from a story written by DeAnna QuietwaterNoriega.



Theme song Music by Sheila Styron



Performed by The Hambone Players.



Directedby Okay, so we don’t take directions well.



((Thirtyseconds of lead in music.  Fade-out. Song Lyrics:



DogClub,



Ithink it’s today!



SquirrelStreet,



Longlight.



Turningleft,



Ya!that’s right.



D-O-G-C-L-U-B,



DogClub, woof!



)



 



Twentyseconds of city sounds of traffic, the click of footsteps.)



 



Narrator:  “A beautifully marked black, creamand tan German shepherd moves along the sidewalk with the gliding motiontypical of his breed.  His narrow head held high, he flows expertlythrough the crowds weaving gracefully around other pedestrians as he guides awell-dressed woman.  Toward him comes a small black lab with a bounce inher step guiding a petite girl with curly red hair.   A rangy goldenretriever who almost prances as she guides a tall distinguishedlooking    man in turn follows them.  The shepherd makes asharp swerve toward a restaurant door, pausing to ask with his body movementsif his lady wishes to enter the establishment.” Granger’s lady:  “Doorinside! Good boy,”



Narrator:  “As the blind woman reaches for thedoor handle, the shepherd ignores the little lab’s inquiring nose sniffing athis tail. (Snuff-snuff)  The golden veers to touch noses with the lab.” 



 



(Thetinkle of a bell on Amanda’s collar.)



 



Amanda: “Don’t bother him Buffy.  He takes his work very seriously.  Hedoesn’t socialize when he’s guiding.  Someone is admiringme.  Mark must have groomed me even better than usual.  I’m sure it’sbecause of my feathery tail.  I can’t help it!  Oh, this issuch fun!  It must be dog club day and we will all have a chance to catchup with each other’s lives while the humans talk and eat!”



 



Narrator: “The little lab wags hertail so hard she beats a constant tattoo against the legs of the young girl sheguides.  Her entire small body seems to be vibrating with excitement.”



 



Buffy: “Amanda, what is dog club?  Is it like school?  Will there be trainerpeople to make us behave or will we be able to sneak good stuff off the floor?”



 



Amanda: “Oh, it’s not like school at all.  There will be lots of guides there fromdifferent schools and you can maybe get a French fry or two if you are not tooobvious about it.  Now pay attention to following and do your job littleone or you’ll get a leash correction!” 



 



(Murmuredvoices clatter of dishes the scrape of chairs fade-out.)



 



Narrator: “The dogs and their partners walk through the restaurant, settling at, andunder, the table.”



 



Granger: “Hello Amanda, who's your little friend with the out ofcontrol nose and tail?”



Amanda:              “Thisis Buffy.  She has just come from school with her new partnerStacey.  They are going to college.  How are you Granger?” 



 



Granger: “Just fine, now that the young one is minding her manners.  Howdo you like college Buffy, and are you representing guidedogs with professional dignity on campus?”



Buffy: “Of course I am trying to be a very good girl, and I loveit!  All the people want to pet me and some give me stuff to eat cuzStacey doesn’t always notice what I am doing and I look really pitiful with mybig brown eyes and everybody just melts!”



 



Granger:              “You shouldn’t eat things other people give you.  It can make you have anupset stomach and interfere with your work, especially with allthat wiggling and wagging.”



 



Narrator:  “A white standard poodle joins theparty under the table.”



 



Chloe:“Oh lighten up cher, you were once young and a bit puppiesque yourself,Granger, and you know labs are always hungry unlike jolie French poodlessuch as moi.  Petetre, it is because they are born withskins a few sizes too large and keep trying to fill them out!”



 



Granger:              “Chloe, she needs to learn self-discipline if she is going to keep her partnersafe.” 



 



Narrator:  A well-padded yellow lab tries tomake herself comfortable around a table leg next to the poodle. 



 



(somelab groans here.)



 



Custard: “That’s true, but I’m sure she will learn in time, Relax, Granger.  Doesn’tit feel nice to be all snuggled up here under the table 



withso many good friends.  Hi, Buffy.  I’m Custard, I’ve been guiding mygentleman for nearly ten years now.  Here comes Rocky.  Don’t getnervous, he’s a Doberman, but a really nice guy just the same.  I thinkI’ll just rest my snout on his flank steak for a while.”



 



Buffy: “Amanda! What happened to his tail?  Did he get it cut off ina door?”



 



Amanda: “Some humans think certain breeds look better with their tails andears cropped or their fur trimmed, lord knows why.”



 



Buffy: “Is that why Stacey is always standing in that indoor rainroom?  She washes off all her own great smell which is absolutely myfavorite, and then tries to disguise it  even more with funny fake flowerones.  Why would anyone want to stand in the rain on purpose?”



 



Rocky: “You couldn’t take up any more room could you Granger?  Idon’t mind snuggling Custard, but shepherds don’t make such good pillows aslabs.  You would think I could get a little respect being a Doberman.”



 



Chloe: “He can’t help it.  It’s his German backbone.  I think it comes withone of those stickers that say: don’t bend, spindle or mutilate.”



 



Granger: “I am simply lying still and doing my job unlike some others under this table.Who's that?  What is he doing?  Oh, it's just the waiter! For amoment I thought someone was trying to invade the flock!" ”



 



Buffy: “Rocky, Don’t you feel sad not having a tail to wag?”



 



Rocky: “It’s not so bad kiddo, it happened a long time ago when I was a pup.  Ihardly notice it anymore and it can be pretty convenient when clumsy typesboard buses and commuter trains with us.  With me being a 



Dobermanand with so many people afraid I’ll bite them, it’s a good thing because theydon’t have to worry about stepping on what isn’t there.”



 



Chloe: “Rocky, where’s Sophia?”



 



Rocky: Sophia won’t be coming any more.   Her arthritis got so bad shecouldn’t climb the steps to get on a bus.  Her partner has found her anice family where she can catch up on a little R&R and doesn’t have to dothe daily harness grind anymore.”



 



Buffy: “Are you sure she doesn’t have to stay in a yard all day like those poor dogswho don’t get to go to school?  I don’t think I’d like that at all. Sure it’s fun to take the harness off to chase a ball and bark at cats once ina while, but what would Stacey do without me to take care of her?”



 



Amanda:  “Oh Sophia was really old.  Her coat wasn’t as silky and fluffy asmine is and all Goldens just are, and she was tired too.  She worried hereyes weren’t as good as they should be and she might not be able to guide herGail safely any more.  That won’t happen to you for ages.  By thenmaybe Stacey will have a family with kids for you to look after. You are luckyto be Stacey’s first guide dog because she doesn’t always know how to make youmind yet.  I have to be really subtle to get around Mark, since I am histhird.”



 



Rocky: “I miss Sophia, and her Gail is already signed up to go back to school nextweek.  You know, Sophia was the one who got her partner Gail and my Davidtogether.  She had this way of diving under a chair to show Gail where tosit.  So one day, she does her dive right under the chair I found forDavid.  Gail landed in his lap and the rest is history.”



 



Amanda: “Granger, you know I’ve had my eye on that pretty little lady of yours for myMark.  Her hair matches my golden fur.  What do you think?”



 



Granger: “Are you asking my opinion of the human match or whether your coat and her hairgo together. Mark would certainly be an improvement over that imbecile whoworks with my mistress.  When he came to take her to a concert, he triedto convince her to leave me home. As if I would trust my precious lady to hiscare!  When he went to fetch her coat, I snatched my harness and leashfrom the closet.  I brought them to my lady and she was so pleased, sheinsisted I come.  He drives one of those little sports cars with hardlyany backseat.  So I squeezed my head and shoulders between the frontbucket seats to make sure he kept his paws to himself.  I kept an eye onhim all evening.  He is such a dummkopf he kept calling me Cujo!”



 



Rocky: “Good job, Granger.  I would have tried to pull the same thing off, but heprobably would have been afraid I would bite him and have gotten her to leaveme behind.”



 



Custard:              “Well? What’s so bad about taking a little break now and then? Life is morethan getting from point A. to point B. as fast as a squirrel can run up a tree.You know,  Why not take a little time to sniff the roses and enjoy all thelovely sunny spots along the way.”



 



Buffy: “I do sniff as I go sometimes, but Stacey has a lot of places to get too and isalways in a hurry.  Doesn’t your partner tell you to leave it and hup-upif you walk too slow and admire the scenery? I especially hate that leave itcommand cuz I think it means stop having fun.” 



Chloe: “Not Custard’s partner, he walks slowly and is nearly as round and laid back asshe is, which wouldn’t do at all pour moi.” 



 



Rocky: “That’s why they make such a good team.  Custard knows all the doughnutshops in town and her guy is always pleased when she finds them for him!”



 



Custard: “You can laugh if you like, but I bet I won’t ever have to hang up my harnessbecause I can’t keep up with his pace.  No retirement for me thank youvery much, I plan to work if you can call it that until I make it all the wayto the Rainbow Bridge.  I may go slow, but I getthere and watching out for traffic isn’t much harder than keeping an eye outfor falling French fries.”



 



Chloe: “Speaking of traffic!  Oo-la-la-la-la! I had a close call the otherday. Darling girl and moi had just started across the street when thisbig truck came around the corner doing a right on red without even stopping. Je ne saispas how he could have possibly not noticed me as I had just come from thegroomer’s.”



 



Amanda: “Oh my silky ears! What did you do?”



 



Chloe: Je le deteste when traffic that should be going straight changes itsmind and comes barreling at me.  It’s enough to make my hair standstraight on end!  So terrible for the coiffure, you know?  Alors,before that eighteen-wheeler could cause any disarray with my poodle puffs oranything plus dangereux like turning darling girl or moi intoroad kill, I did an arabesque and got us back on to the curb.   Cher, I could have sat down and cried I was soshaken.  But we didn’t have time for that because we were late for mypedicure.  Do you like this shade of pink?”



 



Amanda: “Oh, it’s lovely, but not for me with my feathery golden paws.”



 



Buffy: “Oh my goodness! What is that? I heard they were training miniature horses toguide, but I haven’t seen anything like him since I used to watch ADDRESS:
Sesame Street
 withmy  puppy raiser’s baby sister!”



 



Amanda: “Hush now sugar. You’ll hurt his feelings.  That’s Dandy, he’s alabra-doodle.”



Buffy: “A what’s-a-doodle?”



 



Amanda: “His mama was a Labrador like you and Custard,but his papa was a poodle like Chloe.”



 



Chloe: Mon dieu, do not compare me to that, soil vows plait!”



(Heavypanting and the scrape of a chair as a latecomer joins the group.)



 



Dandy: “Make room!  Wide load, coming through!  Hi gang!  How’s ithangin’?  Oops, guess I should rephrase that since for us, it ain’thangin’ any more.  How‘s it goin’?”



 



(Chorusof greetings from the assembled dogs.)



 



Dandy: “You wouldn’t believe my day so far!  I knew it must be dog club day sothere I am trying to get my blink moving.  He wanders around for twentyminutes before I notice he’s only wearing one shoe.  So I grab the otherone from the middle of the floor and start following him around trying to giveit to him.  No dice, he never notices that I have it in my mouth and keepstelling me to wait and he’ll take me out to park in a minute.  So finallywhen I can’t take the flavor another second, I shove it into his hands. Why do humans wear all that extra stuff anyway?  I can understand theydon’t have enough fur to keep warm, but if they went out without shoes for awhile their feet would toughen up pretty quick.  Instead, they try to getus to wear those ridiculous dog booties!”



 



Granger: “You shouldn’t call your partner such a disrespectful name.”



 



Dandy: “Easy for you to say, you’ve got that classy dame to look after.  Now me,I’ve got this clown that spends more time walking on my paws than he does onthe floor.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy, but he really is a basketcase and needs a lot of looking after.  He gets lost walking across theroom.  I can’t count the times I have had to guess where he thinks he’sgoing and get us there.  If I guess wrong, he gets pissed.  Doesn’the know us dogs are dyslexic and can’t read signs or minds either for thatmatter!”



 



Buffy: “Hi, I’m Buffy.  We were almost late today too.  See that bulge inStacey’s coat pocket?  That’s my new ball!  We were walking to thebus and had to go past the place where people hit lovely fuzzy balls with thesewebbed paddle things and I saw it lying in the middle of the sidewalk.  Iwagged my whole rear end I was so pleased someone left it there for me andscooped it up.  Stacey must have thought it was something to eat becauseshe stopped and put her hand under my face and said “out!”  I gave it toher and she must have wanted to play because she threw it down the street. I ran after it and Stacey came too because she was still holding myleash.  I didn’t know she could run so fast.  I caught it on thethird bounce and Stacey said, “Dumb, dumb, dumb.”  I don’t think she meantme though because she was hitting herself on the head.  She said out againand I thought we might play some more, but she put my ball in her pocket and wehurried to the bus-stop.”



 



Dandy: “good to meetcha kid.”



 



Chloe: “The darling girl doesn’t have much of a sense of direction, but she does knowthe way bien sur and takes me regularly to the salon to have my hair andnails done and she bought me this gorgeous burgundy custom-made harness andleash.  She seems to vraiment adore moi.”



 



Dandy: “Oh, my bozo lays on the praise, but do you think he ever thinks I might alsolike a beer to unwind after a hard day?  I have to knock it off the arm ofhis chair with my Kong and lap it up quick while he looks for the papertowels!”



 



Granger: “When my lady has a glass of wine, I feel it is my duty to be the designateddriver.  In my opinion, one of the team should remain sober.”



 



Dandy: “Well maybe, but after all I do for him, he has the nerve to get mad when Istretch out on his bed for a nap.  If that rug in the corner is so great,why doesn’t he try sleeping there?”



 



Rocky: “Hey, Dandy sport, did you ever think the trainer might have given you the guybecause you have what it takes to handle such a tough assignment, unlike me themarshmellow dobie?”



 



Dandy: “Now there’s a thought!  Who would a thunk it?  Not just any dogcould guide old lard butt um, I mean my partner as easily as I do!”



 



Narrator:  Dandy has a superior self-satisfiedexpression on his clownish face.  Chloe rolls her eyes and exchanges aglance with Amanda.  Granger raises a single eyebrow.”



 



Granger: “Ahem!  Heaven preserve us, a doodle with a mission!”



 



Custard: “My gentleman lets me sleep on his bed.  Except when -that woman -comesover to spend the night.  When she came last time, I waited until she wasgetting undressed and put my cold nose on her bare behind.  She let out abanshee shriek and when I was sure I had her attention, I snatched up herunmentionables and started galloping all around the apartment!  Good thingshe is even more out of shape than I am.  She came jiggling and jouncingafter me trying to catch me and yelling words I never heard before!  Mygentleman just sat on the bed laughing his head off.  When I got out ofbreath, I dropped the nasty things on the floor without having torn anything oreven making them very slimy.  She didn’t seem to appreciate thegesture.  She shoved them in her purse so she could get dressed faster andthen flounced out the door in a huff without even stopping to give me atreat.  My gentleman sighed and patted my place on the bed for me to comeup. Speaking of real bitches, I don’t think we will be seeing that one for awhile.”



 



Amanda: Oh my, you naughty girl! Puppy ears shouldn’t be hearing such things.”



 



Buffy: “I sometimes steal Stacey’s pillow off the bed.”



 



Rocky: “I love my David and my job.  What I hate is all those dogs that haven’tanything better to do than come charging at you, barking really mean and loudAs if I really cared to go into their old yards anyway.”



 



Granger: “I agree, those pit bulls in particular are crazy!  They seem to want topick a fight with the whole world.  It’s not that I am really so brave,but I want to bite them for upsetting my lady and find myself unprofessionallygrowling back at them.”



 



Rocky: “Bad idea friend, my breed is known for their fighting ability and I wouldn’ttake one of those guys on for a whole box of milk bones.”



 



Dandy: “If it’s less than twenty pounds I think it should be classed a rodent.  Igrabbed a foul-mouthed Chihuahuaby the scruff of his scrawny little neck once and carried him a block then gavehim a good shake before dropping him at the down curb.  You should haveseen the little bugger run off looking for Taco Bell!”



 



Rocky: “Ole!”



 



Custard: “You know we’ve really got a good thing going here, being guides and all.Those bullies are jealous, because they can see us out and about everywhere,even getting to take naps under tables in fancy restaurants.”



 



(aloud raspberry sound) 



 



Custard: “Excuse me, must have been something I ate!”



 



Amanda: “Oh lord, Custard honey, you’ve been helping yourself to kitty roca from thelitter box again!  Haven’t you?”



 



Custard: “Well they shouldn’t leave it out buffet style if they don’t want us to snackon it.”



 



Buffy: “Stacey says my paws smell like Fritos, whatever they are.  But what isthat smell?  I, Ugh, don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything like itbefore!”



 



(Labbygroans)



 



Dandy: “Sorry guys, that's my human.  They say we should be on a regular,consistent diet, then they eat the most awful stuff.    If thatman eats any more onion dip….”



 



Amanda: “Maybe if I ate onion dip, people wouldn’t try to distract me so much when I amworking, but I don’t know if I’d like being ignored as much as I like beingadmired.”



 



Dandy: “The ones I’m really a sucker for are the rug rats.  They have such sweetsticky hands and faces. All it takes is  one of them running up callingout goggy to me and I lose it.  People are always trying to guess whatbreed I am and maybe that’s it, I’m just a goggy.”



 



Chloe: “It is tres dificile to ignore admirers, especially when you are sobeautiful.  But it can bring on an horrifique headache to be theobject of so much attention.”



 



Buffy: "I love it!  I just dance and wiggle.”  



 



Dandy: "Buff, this isn't a beauty pageant.  Keep that up and your sweetlady's gonna get out that collar with the meat tenderizers on it!"



 



Rocky: “I don’t run into that one much being a Doberman, but what really bothers me iswhen parents frighten their children by saying I might bite them.  How canthey not understand that I would never have been chosen for this line of workif I were the type to even take offense when stepped on?”



 



Granger: “I know what you mean,  I like kids, cats, and even babies when they arebehaving themselves.  Not to change the subject, but has anyone seenBuster lately?”



 



Rocky: “I clocked him doing about four miles per hour on Broadway last week.  Manthat old lab can haul!  I’m surprised his partner’s left arm isn’t morethan twice as long as the right one.”



 



Granger: “I hear he is wearing a pinch collar these days.”



 



Buffy: “What’s that? Meat tenderizer? Pinch collar?  I am scared now, and I feellike I have to do a number one!"



 



Amanda: “Don’t fret yourself darlin, you won’t need such a thing unless you insist ondragging your partner down the street like that bull headed Buster. What I hateis that gentle leader thing Mark whips out when all I’m doing  is checkingout pee-mail.  It sure puts a crimp in my social life!”



 



Dandy: “I like wearing one.  I think it gives me an air of distinction, a bit of class.  “Not”!  At least a real muzzle would command someserious respect.”



 



Rocky: “Heads up, guys.  Looks like they’re maybe ready to break up.  Nicemeeting you Buffy.”



 



(Scrapeof chair and sounds of the restaurant)



 



Narrator:  “Rocky rises to his feet inresponse to the shifting of his partner's chair.”



 



Granger: “Give our best to Sophia if you see her,”



 



Narrator:  “When his lady leans down toextract her purse from beneath his protective paw, Granger, stands and stretcheshis spine before circling to her left side.”



 



Dandy: “Looks like we’ll be here awhile, sigh, the man’s ordered half the menu, butdoes he share! Not a chance!  That’s why I helped myself to the stake heput in the sink to defrost for his dinner before we left the house.  Won’the be surprised when he finds nothing but the foil wrapper!  Maybe he’llblame the cat.”



 



Amanda: “Now you just close your puppy ears Miss Buffy! Don’t you go listenin to thatscamp!”



 



Dandy: “Catch you guys later.”



 



(Soundsof snores and some puppy yips.)



 



Amanda: “Chloe, give Custard a little nuzzle, she seems to have dropped off to sleep.”



 



Buffy: “She makes such a nice pillow; it’s a shame to wake her.”



 



(Tinkleof Amanda’s bell and the sound of a dog shaking her coat into order.)



 



Narrator:  “Amanda gives her silky coat avigorous shake before moving into guide position.”



 



Buffy: “It was nice meeting you all.”



 



Dandy: “Same here kid.  Come again.  We’re a friendly bunch, and we allstick together like wet rawhide.”



 



Narrator:  “Buffy wriggles out from underStacey’s chair and looks up adoringly at the young girl she intends to takegood care of for a very long time.”  



 



Announcer: Well that’s it from radio G.D.U.I.  Tail wags from the HambonePlayers.  Tune in again for The Dog Club.  Till we meet again.”



 



(Endingmusic.)



HappyTails to you,



Untilwe meet again!



 



******



Dog On The Street



By DeAnna Quietwater Noriega



 



(thirtyseconds of lead in music, fade out)



Announcer:"Dog House Productions presents---Dog On The Street! Good evening, this isMary Beth speaking to you from the GDUI Reception.   It has been atradition at GDUI meetings to go



aroundthe room and introduce attendees.  Tonight we are going to send our rovingreporter out into the room to hear from the four legged convention goers. Please relax, enjoy the snacks and learn what The canine contingent think ofthe convention."  



 



Rovingreporter: "I'll begin with the little black lab with the case of thewiggles just entering the room.  What is your name young lady and how areyou enjoying the convention?  Yes you in the dog suit!"



 



Buffy: "Oh!  Sorry! I didn't know you meant me when you said K9! I'm Buffyand this is my girl Stacey.  Last semester she took an oral interpretationof children's literature class, so I know K. stands for kitty and I haven'tseen even one kitty let alone nine of them.  How do I like theconvention?  Oh it's really hard work!  At college, people get out ofmy way, but here you have to watch out for swinging sticks and nobody moves tolet you get by!  But a lot of them are wearing shorts and summer clothes,and I figured out that if you put a cold nose on their bare legs, they jump andyou can get through.  I love the receptions, there is always some goodstuff to eat under the tables.  So if you'll excuse me, I think I see apiece of cheese over there with my name on it!"



 



RovingReporter:  "But Buffy, aren't you supposed to ignore food on thefloor?  Won't you get in trouble?"



 



Buffy:"I've learned that if I dive for it, Stacey



putsthat horrible, nasty Gentle Leader on me,  but if I lie down like I ambeing a good girl and stre-e-etch my neck



outand just sort of accidentally pick it up.  I can get it no problem!"



 



BillieSue: "Now, honey, if you eat that stuff, you might get sick, and then your



littlebitty red headed gal will have to leave early, and that would be such a shamecause my Bubba has taken a real shine to her.  You might not get to visitwith your



friendsneither, so you just better leave that cheese alone.  Besides, it is sobad for your waistline sugar, doncha know?"



 



RovingReporter:  "And who are you?"  



 



BillieSue: "My name is Billie Sue, and my fella here is Jimmy John.  Butmost folks call him Bubba.   Ain't that just soooo sweeeet--Bubba andBillie Sue, his Lil' ol' hush puppy guide!  But I'm beginning to thinkthat maybe my name has been changed to No damn it! my boy Bubba don't missthose times when I get to sniffin out something interesting.  He catchesme quicker 'n a bobcat goin



aftera little ol' squirrel when it comes to leash



correctin! That surely is a right proper nuisance!"  



 



RovingReporter: "You aren't one of the three main breeds used for guide dogs Irecognize."  



 



BillieSue: "Oh my, now don't you go confusin me with one of them pit bulls likesome of you Yankees have been doin!!  Now I ask you?  Who could evermistake a sweet lil ol gal like me for something that plain ugly?  I am aboxer from a fine old southern family."  



 



RovingReporter: "I didn't know that boxers were used as guides."



 



BillieSue:  "Well, dahlin' they are used when folks have those turrible



allergiesor have kin folk or friends who might be allergic to dogs.



Iwas trained here in  Florida."



 



RovingReporter:  "So, Billie Sue, you should be used to all of this heatand



humidity."



 



BillieSue:  "I am of course, but since I have a light coat and such finedelicate skin, I don't have the insulation from the heat that the longer haireddogs have.  So my Bubba puts these wet neckerchief things round my neck tokeep me cool, and they look real pretty too."



 



RovingReporter:  "Oh, very nice.  So what do you think of theconvention?"



 



BillieSue:  "Well, it is real busy.  Why everyone is just frettin



soabout tryin to get somewheres in a hurry.  They are fussin at their dogs,or



swingingthose no account  canes back and forth, back and forth, and tryin to



gohere and there.  They just need to slow down an take life



easy. The elevators ain't gona move any faster if they hurry, so they



mightas well just rest a spell and sip some good cold sweet tea.  They have to



rememberthat we are in the South, and we Southerners just don't go nowheres



fastlessen a revenuer is on our tails.  We do just luuv to stop andvisit."  



RovingReporter: "Oh, here's a young golden retriever, now. What's yourname?"



 



Bart:"Butts, butts, butts, so many butts to sniff! Hey! Hey! Butts!"



:"Hey cool, a microphone! Yo! Babe, I'll pick you up later!"(laughing)



 



RovingReporter: "Uh, right. And what's your name again?"



 



Bart:"I'm Bart. Who the hell are you?"



 



RovingReporter: "Bart, what's your favorite part of the convention so far?"



 



Bart:"Getting other dogs in trouble. (laughter) My person sits up at the



fronta lot and wears the headphone things so I get to look out on the



crowd.Dude, if you lay under a table and just look at them, they go crazy.



Youcan just stare into their little eyes and make them bark at you! Then



youlay down real quick and pretend you're asleep! It's beautiful!"



 



RovingReporter: "I see. Anything else you'd like to say to the folks?"



 



Bart:"Eat my harness? Nah, really, conventions are cool and there are some



reallyhot chicks here! Peace Man!"



 



RovingReporter: "Here's an unusual dog. You must be Molly. I've heard a lotabout you.  Tell us a



littleabout yourself. You're a Labra/doodle, right?"



 



Molly:"Like, Noooo, I am not. I am a Lab/Poodle Cross. Big difference."



 



RovingReporter: "Oh really?  You are quite unique in appearance. Could you describe



yourselffor the blind people here?"



 



Molly:"I am like a lovely Champaign creamthanks to my White Poodle father



andYellow Lab mom. I've got long legs and an athletic build with this curly



tailup over my back, see? I have like these blush highlights that go with



mycollar here, see the hot pink? Nice huh?"



 



RovingReporter: "Very nice indeed. What do you think of the convention sofar?"



 



Molly:"Oh, it's OK. Some of these dogs and their people have like no fashion



senseat all though. Haven't they ever heard of Doggy Gap, Eddie Bowwowers, or Bloomingtails? I checked out the exhibits, and they didn't even have like J.C. Puppies orAbercrombie and Bitch, let alone Barks and Noble! I mean like it is a majordrag, but I can deal. Now the relief areas, that's a



differentmatter. Gross me out!"



 



RovingReporter: "So you don't like going out there huh?"



 



Molly:"duh, as if. It beats going in the restaurant. Not by much, but like thisis supposed to be a class act hotel and they don't even provide indoor plumbingfor dogs!"



 



RovingReporter: "Any other thoughts for our convention audience?"



 



Molly:"Yeah, like, I'm hot, I'm smart and I'm coming off the elevator! Get



theheck out of my way you lousy cane drivers!"



 



RovingReporter:  "Here's a laid back labby boy taking a snooze.  Let'ssee what he has to say. Well Hello good looking!  What's your name?" 



Waylon:(Yawn, groan) "Waylon! Whatsit to ya? I don't



seea tennis ball or any treats in your hand, so what do you want?"



 



RovingReporter: "I was just wondering how you are enjoying the convention and ifyou had any suggestions for things we could improve on for the future?"



 



Waylon:(scratches) "Well now that you mention it, I personally think it would begreat if you could provide a grass tennis court with a few tennis balls to



playwith, maybe some of those  free treat machines, and a pool just for



thedogs.  I really hate having to put up with all those people screaming



atme when I go for a swim."



 



RovingReporter: "Sounds to me like you would rather relax and not have to workas a guide dog."



 



Waylon:"Now don't get me started! Guiding's okay because I get to go everywhereand don't have to hang out at home while my Nancy goes on trips without me, butsometimes the traffic, the crowds and all the rules can get to the best of us.Let's just say that if you ask me, a guide dog's theme song ought to be"Mama, don't let your puppies grow up to be guide dogs!" 



….



RovingReporter: "Now here comes a handsome pair, a lovely golden and a dignifiedshepherd.  How are you two enjoying the convention?"



 



Amanda:"Oh my lord!  I am so flusterated!  I had to keep walking pastthe door and showing Mark the elevator, the water fountain and the restroom andpretending I didn't know where he wanted to go while I waited forGranger!  I know I'm a blonde, but I just hate being stereo-typed as anair-head.  I thought it was particularly clever to play cat's cradle withmy leash when Mark stopped to ask directions.  It took him a good fiveminutes to get my front paws untangled!"



 



Granger:"My apologies Amanda, I have been working hard all day.  My lady isrunning for a position on the ACB Board of Directors and she got up at five andhas kept me going to meetings and caucuses all over this hotel.  So if youdon't mind, I will just settle her here in this chair to stretch out and restmy weary paws."



 



Amanda:"It's just that you knew I was trying to get your lady interested in myMark!  She's a lawyer and he's a college professor!  It'sperfect!  They are both professionals and besides, her hair matches mycoat!  I wanted to be sure to get them seated at the same table!"



 



RovingReporter:  "I never realized that you guide dogs took an interest inthe personal lives of your handlers."



 



Granger: "Of course we do!  My lady belongs to me!  I want her to behappy and I want to be certain she gets only the best!  You would besurprised at the dummkopfs I have had to run off to keep them from botheringher."



 



Custard: "You better believe it! Hi you guys.  Can I squeeze my fella in hereat your table.  That woman is looking for him again and I have nointentions of letting the Pillsbury dough girl evict me from my place on hisbed if I can help it.  I'm Custard, but don't quote me on the otherstuff.  Let's just say we don't only keep our folks from getting turnedinto road pizza, but we also take seriously our job of keeping them out oftrouble 24 7.  It's a tough job but someone's got to do it!  Speakingof pizza, where's the food?"



 



RovingReporter: "Here comes a lovely pair of yellow labs.  We certainlyhave a great turn-out of handsome dogs in attendance tonight."



 



Fowler:"Hello Miss, bet you've worked up a thirst… Now, how about  abeer?  This cash bar should be able to help us out.  I feel it's myduty as the



firstgentleman's dog to see that you get treated right."



 



RovingReporter: "Sounds like a plan to me."



 



Gretch:"Excuse me!  I'm Gretch, the   GDUI President's dog andhe's Fowler and belongs to the president's husband.  Fowluur! You may begood looking, but you don't have any money and isn't the operative word in cashbar cash."



 



Fowler:"That's where you are wrong!  Bill put his wallet in my harness signpocket for safekeeping! So miss, if you just follow me, I'll get you somethingto wet your whistle."



 



Rovingreporter: "Lead on Fetch and Growler!  I mean Gretch andFowler!  Maybe I'd better stick to a soft drink tonight.   Thisis your GDUI roving reporter signing off and wishing you all have a lovelyevening visiting with your friends above and below the tables."



 



Announcer:“This evening's entertainment was brought to you by The Hambone Players.  



Happy tails to you ‘til we meetagain!"



 



About the Author:



DeAnna Quietwater Noriega  is half Apache, and a quarter Chippewa. Sheis the mother of three, two daughters and an adopted blind son.  She wasthe eldest of five children in a close-knit American Indian family.  As aresult of congenital glaucoma, She became totally blind at the age ofeight.  



 



           DeAnna was mainstreamed in public schools in Texas, Michiganand California. She completed a Bachelor’s degree in Social Science and did a year toward aMaster’s in Social work at California State UniversityStanislaus.  While attending college, she taught independent living skillsto the blind for the California Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. She worked as a caseworker in Santa Clara County,California before joining the United StatesPeace Corps.  DeAnna and her sighted husband met while attending collegeand he joined her in the Peace Corps.  They worked together to establish aschool for blind children in the independent nation of Western Samoa. 



 



Upon her return to the U.S., DeAnna spent the next sevenyears at home raising children. During this time, she became active in theAmerican Council of the Blind, Guide Dog Users Inc.  Taught Braille,instructed breastfeeding mothers as a LA Leche Leader, was a friendly visitorat nursing homes and worked as a volunteer intake clerk, at the welfareoffice.  



DeAnna and her husbandopened two Papa Murphy's Pizza franchise stores.  She served as operationsmanager, doing inventory, ordering, supervising staff and handling the cashregister and phone during late afternoons and evenings.  



 



After fourteensuccessful years, they sold the restaurants to move to Colorado where their two daughters wereenrolled in college.  She kept busy working as an instructor of Brailleand independent living skills with an adult education program in Colorado Springs. Sheremained active in many organizations of the visually impaired serving as anofficer at local state and national levels.  She served as a foundingboard member of a nonprofit organization that opened a blind center in Colorado Springs. She established The Braille Books to Keep project for blind children in both Oregon and Colorado.



DeAnna has been a guidedog user for over 50 years and has taken an active part in passing legislationprotecting service animals. 



Herwriting has appeared in magazines such as: Dialogue, 



Angels on Earth, 



The Braille Forum, Generations-Native Literature, 



TheVision Aware Blog (Visually Impaired? Now What?)



 



Anthologies:



Behind Our Eyes,



BehindOur Eyes—  Second A Second look




 

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