[Critique Group 1] Cleora's notes from November session

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

Hi group,
Sorry this took so long. It has been a hectic few weeks.
But, I know I'm in good company. I think Leonard's notes from our November session are the only ones I've seen so far. 

[comments for DeAnna
95 pounds. WOW.
The contradictive behavior of in one case wanting to ignore the turn in to the restaurant and keep going, contrasted with his grumbling about going in what he considered the wrong direction.
In the poem.
In the beginning, I realized the poem was by the dog.
He, like me doesn't know much about poetry...
I made comments about things I thought should be changed.
It was, supposedly, editted by you.
After the poem, you mention its not purfect, but what do you expect from a dog.
I think the word such can be left out in the first line.
leave out "up" in Master covers it up with...
Just master covers it with...
leave out the word "and" at the beginning of 
and, she spends...
just say "she spends more..."
Also, leave out "but" at the beginning of but, woe...
leave out "into" in
don't chase the kitty up into the tree
up the tree is into the tree.
leave out "and" in and you must rush..
I think the conjunctions slow it down. Maybe a period or semi-colon after the previous line and leave out the conjunction.
But, perhaps it makes it more realistic to leave it as it is. Dog is stubborn after all.
This chapter fell right in with the recent Thanksgiving holiday.
I love the way you mention learning something about life from each dog.
I believe I have learned so much about the relationship between God and man from my birds.
The letter at the end is a special ending. It says it all.

[comments for Marsha
This portrays the roll reversal children that outlive their parents so often face. 
The compassion to try to keep him at home and care for him and the togetherness of all of you in working together is heart warming.
Not a Norman Rockwell picture, but a real life family.
a couple of comments
dentures weren’t yet in place. 
I think "dentures not yet in place. 
Leave out weren't 
in "We are grateful for small favors. "
I think leave out "for small favors" this is almost a cliche

[comments for Leonard
6:41pm Cleora
This caused me to think of 2 sayings.
hind sight is 20/20, and 
a people who cannot learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.
The truth is, by the time we see 20/20 it is too late to take action, and the young have not yet learned how to benefit from the past and experience of others.
I didn't find anything in it I would change.
The melancholy despair in this poem is devastating to me.