[Critique Group 1] humble, audit submission

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Hi Group 1,

At least one person was sorry I didn't submit something. I didn't think it would be fair to exp;ect a critique when I was not giving one. But  if you are so inclined, that is more than okay with me.  Please don''t feel obliged, and if you say anything don't put a lot of effort into it. It's a shor poem.

Leonard
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A Horse’s Touch

 

On a lazy lovely summer’s day,

five went walking down a sunny lane,

passing by a wooden rail fence

with trodden pasture in its range.

 

Three old horses stood there grazing,

their paltry grasses dry and tramped.

We five leaned on rail posts gazing,

calling them to saunter closer.

 

I pulled out tufts of sweet green grasses,

enticing morsels beyond their reach,

and offered them to hungry horses,

whose desires were daunting forces.

 

I ran and pulled the fresh green grass

back and forth in countless passes,

to keep their browsing needs supplied,

Though we all knew I could not last.

 

I leaned at rest against the fence.

Then the mare who had been the boldest

laid her neck across my shoulder,

and my heart broke in wordless pleasure.

 

An equine neck is powerful.

I felt her mass lay gently down

like a mare cuddling her foal,

her great strength in total control.
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