[Critique Group 1] Leonard's submission for next week

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Hi All,

 

Please read this intro carefully before commenting.  Below are 4 poems. The first one is the master poem from which the others are taken almost line for line.  You are only requested to read and comment on one of the entries below. Of course, you may do it for more than one if you so desire.

 

Leonard

 

Line count: 37

 

Autumn Winds

      

 

Swift autumn winds blow this day,

chase sun’s warming rays away.

Leaves shiver in growing cold.

For leaves, time is growing old.

Stripped of life-rendering green,

their elemental colors show.

Maples glow in yellow gold,

hawthorn spear point deep dark red,

and all around is basic brown.

Breeze and leaves fill my world with sound.

 

Millions of voices chant an urgent dirge.

Some sing in desperate lamentation,

some in celestial celebration,

others in excited expectation.

These are the voices of our turning earth.

They are the expressions of you and me.

Are they questions of death and rebirth?

 

On this bright brisk day, my mind is clear.

Airborne leaves chase away my fears.

Somewhere, I know a world is dying,

while elsewhere a world’s reviving.

 

Trees are stripped of their summer gown,

sentinels standing stark and naked,

strong in their winter hibernation.

Spring breezes will bring new green leaves.

Yet, some will fall in the long cold night.

 

The winds that come and go --

of this old mystery,

do they really truly know?

Why do leaves whisper so,

as if to keep their secrets?

 

 

Author’s Name:  Leonard Tuchyner

Address: 5648 Flintstone Drive, Barboursville, VA 22923

email address:  tuchyner5 at aol.com

 

line count:  12

 

Autumn Winds

 

Swift autumn winds blow this day --

chase sun’s warming rays away.

Leaves shiver in growing cold.

For leaves, time is growing old.

Stripped of life-rendering green,

their elemental colors show.

Maples glow in yellow gold,

hawthorn spear point deep dark red,

and all around is basic brown.

Breeze and leaves fill my world with sound.

 

Line count: 18

 

Songs of Fall

 

On this bright brisk day, my mind is clear.

Airborne leaves chase away my fears.

Somewhere, I know a world is dying,

while elsewhere a world’s reviving.

 

Millions of voices chant an urgent dirge.

Some sing in desperate lamentation,

some in celestial celebration,

others in excited expectation.

These are the voices of our turning earth.

They are the expressions of you and me.

Are they questions of death and rebirth?

 

Line count:  4

 

 

Do Falling Leaves Know?

 

Of autumn’s ancient mystery,

do the fallen truly know?

Why do leaves whisper so,

as if to keep their secrets?

 

 

 
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