[Critique Group 1] Cleora's submission for April (4/25/18)

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

162 words
Hunter Man Meals
by Sly Duck

I was at an excavation site one day when I chanced upon the following stone carving tucked away in an prehistoric bag crafted from an animal skin. After cleaning it, I took  it to an hieroglyphics expert friend of mine. Following is his translation.

hunter man meals

Winter is coming, so don't delay.
We'll catch, dress, and pack your prey.
Easy open with knife or spear.
everything from fish to deer.
Comes with herb or veggie pouch
just throw it together 
in a pot or a kettle.

Discrete delivery wherever you say.
Friends will marvel at your catch each day.
No one will know it's not fresh kill.
Others will envy your apparent hunting skill.

Only one gold stone or gem each month.
Free coon skin cap with paid subscription.
Don’t delay, sign up today.
satisfaction guaranteed.
Full refund on any unopened package less than three days old.

Hmm... Seems advertising has always been with us.