[Critique Group 1] Here is my piece for Wednesday

[DQ Noriega]

This is the third time I have sent it, but Leonard hasn't received it, If no
one else has, it is obviously a problem at my end.

This is late, but hopefully you will be able to critique it anyway.

College Co-eds

 

My mom, baby sister Christina, Tammy and I drove north from Santa Ana in
late August.  We were headed to the small farming community of Turlock,
located

in the San Joaquin Valley near Modesto.  I had been accepted at both San
Francisco and Stanislaus State Colleges, but found the idea of living off
campus

and learning my way around San Francisco overwhelming.  Stanislaus was
actually smaller than the high school I had graduated from in June. It was
then

the youngest of the California State Colleges.  The dormitory was located
across highway 99 from the college.  There was a pedestrian signal activated

by a push button to permit students to cross the highway.  Then we had to
follow a tarmac path through fields a long way to reach the two buildings
that

made up the campus.  The library, cafeteria and administration offices were
in one building and all classes were in the other.  A field house was the
only

additional structure completed when Tammy and I started our freshman year.
The college was barely ten years old and most of my professors were holders

of P.H.D. degrees.  Except for some of the freshman introductory courses
held in the theater, classes were small.  When the college had first opened,
some

classes had to be held in barns at the fairgrounds.  So our unflattering
nickname among the other Cal State Colleges was Turkey Tech.  Rather than
being

stung by this designation, we had a cheer that went, "Gobble gobble, that's
our cry, Turkey Tech, do or die!"  The cheering crowd broke out with an
imitation

of a turkey gobble.  It was a lot of fun.  Actually, the school wasn't an
agricultural college but was noted for its business department.

 

Mom helped me carry in my things and I sort of rushed her off because I was
scared and didn't want to prolong the good-byes.  I left my door open and
put

Tammy on a tie-down while I unpacked.  Two girls from Stockton who had known
each other in high school came along and introduced themselves.  Annie
Williams

became my best friend during our freshman year.  Like me, she was the first
member of her family to go to college and the eldest child in a family of
five

siblings.  We were both able to attend college because we had won
scholarships and qualified for education opportunity grants.  Although she
was an art

major while I was leaning toward psychology, we had a lot of things in
common.  Cathy Dent was more outgoing and interested in the social scene.  

 

All freshmen were required to live in the dormitory, unless they had a
waiver signed by their parents granting them permission to live off campus.
The

dorm was an L-shaped two-story structure with a separate cafeteria building
and a swimming pool located between the two buildings.  It was co-ed with
women's

rooms upstairs and men's on the ground floor.  The entrance was at the
junction of the two wings.  Tammy and I had the third room along the left
wing. 

We didn't have a roommate.  The dorm wasn't completely full and it was
decided that rooming with a large dog might be too crowded for anyone to
share the

room with us.

 

My room had two beds, two desks with shelves above them, a large closet and
a sink.  It was connected through an adjacent bathroom that held a shower
and

an enclosed toilet to the room next door.  Two older girls shared that room.
Sandy and Virginia had attended junior college and were transferring to
Stanislaus

as juniors.  They were from Los Angeles and were friendly.  Another upper
classman named Carol came by and invited me to join her and some others for
tea

in her room after I finished settling in.  I began to feel a little less
nervous.  Everyone seemed eager to help make me feel at home.  

 

The freshmen started off on a bus the next morning to attend a freshman get
acquainted camp in the mountains.  There was a dance and several activities

designed to give us a chance to meet and to be talked to by upperclassmen
and teachers.  Tammy never stopped wagging her heavy otter tail as we moved
with

the group from one area to another.  It didn't matter to her if we walked on
a dirt path or a sidewalk.  She followed the crowd and located a seat or
whatever

I asked such as the exit or entrance door.  

 

Tammy enjoyed the opportunity to meet and greet each new person that we
encountered.  I made the first time guide dog user mistake of allowing
everyone

to pet and fuss over my beautiful girl.  She was definitely an icebreaker
encouraging people to approach and introduce themselves to me.

 

When I was fourteen years old, I had decided that I couldn't afford to allow
my natural shyness to continue.  When you are different from others, people

who don't know you tend to keep their distance.  I realized that if I wanted
to make friends, it was up to me to make the first overtures.  My high
school

classmates were generous about helping to carry my heavy books or
braillewriter, but it didn't occur to them often to invite me to join them
in after school

activities.  Tammy made everything so much easier by serving as a topic of
conversation.  Other students approached us to introduce themselves, rave
over

Tammy's beauty, and ask questions. They talked about favorite pet dogs and
that led naturally in to discussing other topics.  

 

If someone offered to show me how to get to the dining hall or other place,
I knew I could find it again with Tammy's help.  If I wanted to go to a
concert

or play held on campus, I could just go on my own and friends came over to
sit with us. I was no longer dependent on the time schedules of others.  If

I needed a break from the noise of the dorm, I could take a quiet long walk
confident that I wouldn't get lost.    

 

The only hitch in all this was that I soon found that everyone knew Tammy's
name and almost no one remembered mine.  Since DeAnna seemed to transform
into

Diana, Dina, Daria, Dena and almost anything else that began with the letter
D.  I started using Dee to make things easier.

 

Our room was next to the pay phone for the two women's wings. The phone rang
and rang.  Finally when I couldn't stand the noise another minute, I gave

in and answered it.   Sometimes I got bored saying "Yosemite Hall."  I
substituted "Hello, devil speaking. Who in hell do you want?" Or using my
sultriest

voice I'd vary my routine to say, "Good evening, this is Peggy's house of
fun and games. Who is your pleasure?"  That one got me in trouble when the
caller

was one of the other girls' mothers.  Things usually went something like
this.  The call was for someone at the other end of the hall.  Tammy and I
ran

down the corridor only to find the girl wasn't in her room.  Then we ran
back to take a message.  I typed the note and we ran back to the right room
to

post it.  This gave us lots of practice locating rooms and meeting more
people.  Tammy became so popular, that a group of fraternity guys decided to
run

her for freshman princess.  They made up posters claiming that she was a
perfect size twelve, (her collar size) and had a winning personality.
Everywhere

we went, people called out greetings to her.  I began to feel invisible!

 

Tammy loved to wear a string of bright beads, scarf or other ornament.
Annie gave her a blue plastic peace symbol and she seemed to know she was
especially

pretty when decked out in any little bit of finery. Her step had an added
bounce and became almost a prance.  One day, we walked past a yard where
some

students were holding a barbecue.  A girl's voice exclaimed, "Look at that
beautiful dog!"  Then a pleasant male voice answered, "The girl's not bad
either." 

I felt like doing a celebratory dance.  I wasn't invisible after all. 

 

One of the people I met at the freshman camp was a quiet young man named
Curtis Noriega.  He made such a fuss over Tammy, she hurried toward him in
any

crowd to say hello.  It wasn't until we had been going out for a burger or
movie on occasion, that he admitted he didn't really like dogs.  He
preferred

cats as pets.  

 

I discovered that I would have to put a stop to Tammy's desire to meet and
greet her friends.   When she saw Curt as we were coming down the stairs at

the dorm, she surged forward pulling me off my feet.  I fell badly spraining
an ankle.  Some lessons just have to be learned the hard way.

 

It is often difficult for the general public to understand the insistence
guide dog handlers must make that their dogs not be spoken too, petted or
fed

by everyone.  They are so beautiful, intelligent and friendly, people long
to reach out to pet or speak to them.  However, a moment's lapse in
attention

to their job can cause a serious injury to the person they are guiding.
Seeing a friend across the street might lead them to start the crossing
without

checking for traffic.  A scrap from someone's lunch could upset the dog's
stomach, causing an embarrassing accident at a crucial moment.  It could
impair

the dog's ability to guide due to feeling ill.  It could lead to bad habits
like begging or scavenging.  Un-authorized snacks might also result in an
unhealthy

weight gain and shorten the guide's working life.  For both our sakes, I had
to curtail Tammy's social interactions.

 

As winter set in, a group trip was planned for those living in the dorm to
go up to Yosemite for the weekend.  I was still finding it difficult to
manage

on my sprained ankle received when Tammy bounded down the stairs to greet
our friend Curt.  Since I had already paid my fee, I decided to go.  Sandy
and

Virginia, the two girls from the room next to mine asked Curt to drive us up
into the Sierras.  Since he drove, the girls didn't want him to stay in
another

cabin, in case we wanted the car. He got teased about his four female
roommates, three human and one canine.  However, we each had our own bunks.
Since

all of us were quite modest young ladies, he wasn't treated to any free
floorshows.   Everyone got to practice getting into pajamas with lights
turned

out.  Tammy loved the snow.  She thought catching and eating snowballs great
sport.  Also high on her list was burrowing through snow banks rolling and

snorting.  Of course this necessitated a vigorous rubdown with a towel upon
our return indoors.  The trip was fun and Tammy and I had many more visits

to this lovely valley in the Sierras over our years as a team.  

 

I put up a one foot Christmas tree in my dorm room and discovered that my
dog loved packages as much as I did.  Two of them were of particular
interest

to her.  She took every opportunity to steal and try to open them.  The
crackle of the paper always gave her activity away.  When I heard that sound
I

demanded the return of the plunder.  One gift was actually for her.  I don't
know how she guessed that, as it was in a box.  Perhaps her nose led her to

believe that no one would be giving me a rawhide chew toy.  The other
present though was one meant for me.  It was a closet sachet filled with
some kind

of scented mixture of flowers and herbs.  This made me wonder if there was a
comparable plant to catnip that appealed to dogs included in the blend.

 

Tammy loved the cold.  Whether we walked through the central valley fog and
rain or into a brisk sea breeze, her pace and pull increased as the
temperature

dropped.  Best of all she loved walking through falling snow.  Her tail
wagged constantly.  She could brace me over patches of ice if I slipped, but
just

loved striding out into a cold wind.  

 

Tammy's retriever soul manifested itself in a new way.  She began to pick up
things she could easily carry in her mouth.  She didn't chew or damage them.


However, I did feel obligated to pay for the can of soup, bunch of bananas
and candy bar she carried to the checkout line at the grocery store.  Odd
tennis

balls, ashtrays, and candlesticks began to appear in our room.  I finally
solved this tendency for indulging in kleptomania by giving her a small
change

purse to carry when we went out.  It didn't interfere with her guiding, and
eliminated her desire to appropriate other people's possessions. 

 

She loved to retrieve anything I dropped and proudly presented me with lost
pocket change, my shoe or anything else she thought I was searching for on

the floor.  Soon she associated a name with my sweater, or jacket, my tape
recorder case, my backpack, her leash and harness.  I could ask her for any

of these items and she dashed to find and bring them to me.

 

Her habit of making a dive for anything I dropped was finally curbed when I
accidentally allowed a bar of soap to slip from my hand.  Not realizing that

Tammy had snatched it up.  I kept searching the bathroom floor.  Finally,
Tammy thrust the bar of soap into my hand and charged off to get a drink.
After

this bubble blowing misadventure, she waited to be asked to retrieve dropped
articles.   

 

Tammy's skill at choosing good footing made it possible to work safely at
any speed.  When I hadn't allowed enough time to make it to a class, she
enjoyed

covering the distance along the paved path at a dead run.  Although she
moved quickly with a strong pull on cold, windy or foggy days, on hot sunny
ones,

she hurried across hot tarmac and slowed down to walk in the shade of trees.
Whatever our pace, she focused on her work.  Her alert eyes scanned for
hazards,

took note of people and animals but concentrated on navigating the best
course to keep me safe.  She took her work very seriously.  

 

Tammy had an exceptional memory.  One day when I was wearing new sandals, I
left the classroom building by a side door.  I slipped on rain slick steps. 

Whenever I subsequently used that exit, Tammy approached those steps
cautiously.  She seemed to think that they were likely to cause me to
slither down

them again if she didn't take special care.  

 

Her sense of fun was a constant source of laughter to everyone.  I was
taking her out on leash to relieve when a football whizzed past us.  Tammy
was off

after it in a flash.  Catching it by the laces, she entered the impromptu
football game being played by some of the fellows from the dorm.  It took
them

nearly ten minutes of chasing her around the swimming pool before she
returned to me so I could give back the ball.  If she got bored watching me
study,

she began a game of tossing her tennis ball for herself and chasing it
around the room.    

 

Her favorite toys were ones with squeakers in them.  I am sure people were
slightly concerned about that poor blind girl's sanity when I took her
shopping

for a new toy.  I made each type on offer squeak and placed it on the floor
in front of Tammy.  She sat cocking her head listening to the sounds.
Finally,

she picked one from the line in front of her.  After I replaced the rejects,
she walked proudly to the cashier carrying her selection so I could pay for

the winner.  Life with my best friend and college roommate was never dull.

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