[Critique Group 1] Submission for Critique for May

[DQ Noriega]

Last month I shared the first Chapter of a sort of memoir. I am submitting a
foreward to that for you to critique. I am unsure if it isn't too wordy. It
is 541 words.

 

Foreword

 

Nationally, it was a time of upheaval and social change, a time of growing
alienation between the young and the greater society that had produced them.
Sexual morays were undergoing a sea change with the advent of the birth
control pill. Mind altering drug use was being touted as the means to
greater self-awareness.  It was a time when many were taking dead end roads
and wrong turns.  How was one young woman going to choose wisely in a land
of opportunity where many of her people were still on the outside looking
in?  

 

This is the story of one girl and one dog and how they went out into a not
always friendly world together.  It's the story of two young spirits joined
by love and mutual understanding.  It is the tale of how their devotion to
each other made them stronger than either would have been alone.  Tammy was
a mischievous fifteen month-old black Labrador/German Shepherd dog with
boundless energy, a love of life and a desire to please.  DeAnna was a
slight shy Native American girl, who looked as if she should have been in
junior high school, instead of about to enter college.  She stood teetering
on the threshold of adulthood, eager to move forward, yet uncertain of the
right path to follow.  As she fought to keep her footing among the shifting
tides of change, a friend walked beside her.  These two were brought
together, a woman-child and a still half puppy half professional working
dog, to form the synergy that is a guide dog team.  I can tell you their
story because I was that young girl and the dog who walked by my side,
through the maelstrom that was college life in the late 1960's was my first
Seeing Eye Dog.  

 

  A dog guide can be so much more than just a mobility aide to a blind
person.  When it seemed as if no one else in the world was in my corner and
that life in general was ganging up on me, my dog was an inexhaustible
source of unconditional love.  If friends were too busy or judged my actions
harshly, Tammy was always eager to spend time with me, and listen to my
troubles. She shared her canine--live for the moment--approach to life with
me.  When I misinterpreted the situation and corrected Tammy, instead of
trusting her judgement; she freely forgave my error.  

 

Many times, the fear of the unknown, of injury, of being perceived as a
disability instead of a human being, can keep a blind person from stepping
outside his or her door into full participation in the wider world.  With
Tammy beside me, I met life head on and carved out a place in it for myself.
I overcame fears that would otherwise have crippled my ability to function
and fully participate in all that waited beyond the threshold of my door.  

 

In this age of skyrocketing costs, some have asked the question, why spend
all that money to train a dog guide when a cane costs a fraction of the
price.  I hope to answer that difficult query through telling you about
Tammy and the gift of sight she gave me through her loving amber eyes.

 

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group1/attachments/20170502/15adc954/attachment.html>