[Critique Group 1] submission for group 1 7/19/17 session from cleora

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

1700 words

Well Wishing

By: Bli Duck

After nine years of marriage, Mary knew that the holidays were not a good time to ask her husband for a favor. Especially one that would involve letting her borrow the hunting lantern he got for Christmas to explore the tunnel she had accidentally found behind the brick wall in the basement. Ray had been an only child and he was not big on sharing his toys. 

She massaged the pads of his feet gently and then each toe until she reached the little toe. 

She looked up without raising her head. 

The small birthmark that disappeared when he was thinking or upset was clearly visible. A sure sign he was happy and relaxed. It was now or never. 

"Honey?" she said. 

"Hunh?" 

"Guess what?" 

"Umm, don't know." He shifted around in the recliner. 

"I found a secret passage behind the wall in the basement." 

"Umm, that's nice." more shifting. 

"It's very dark in there." 

"Uh-hunh." 

"I'd like to explore it." 

"Umm. Okay." 

"I need something to light the way. 

"Uh-huh." More shifting. 

She took a deep breath. "So I can use the lantern?" 

There was a long pause. 

His eyes snapped open as he realized what she was asking. His foot jerked out of her hand and he jumped up. The recliner slammed into the upright position with a thud. 

"What? Are you crazy?" He said. "No way. I haven't even taken it out of the box yet, and you want me to let you use it?"

"Come on," she said smiling and putting her arms around his neck. "We'll explore the passage together. It'll be fun. Just think a mystery in our own basement." 

She didn't really want him to go. She hoped the suggestion would make him feel more comfortable about letting her take the lantern. 

"If I say no, you'll suddenly have a headache I suppose," he said coldly. 

She stepped back a little staring up at him, then frowned down at the floor. How like him to make everything about their routine Thursday night sex. She had only refused him once in all the time they had been married. Now he would bring it up every time he wanted to make her feel bad about asking for something.

She felt her eyes grow moist and turned away. Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly.

"No," she said, "of course not. It's totally up to you." 

She glanced at the front door. It was locked. "It's time for bed anyway," she said. 

In the bedroom she pulled her nightie from under the pillow and went into the bathroom. She knew it would be a waste of time to shower, but she needed time to think. Maybe he would go to sleep before she came out.

She took her temperature before brushing her teeth; normal, She sighed in relief. she finished getting ready for bed and slid under the covers. It was Thursday. 

He rarely spent any time trying to arouse her. It was over in a few minutes. He rolled over to his side of the bed. 

"Good night," he said. 

"Good night." 

She rolled over with her back to Ray  and went to sleep. 

She went higher, higher, higher. Then down, faster and faster and the roller coaster was vibrating violently. She grabbed for the safety bar but she was still shaking... 

"Hey, sleepy head, wake up.” 

She blinked awake. 

It had been a dream. 

"What?" 

"Come on, let's go." 

Slowly she remembered the night before and the discussion about the passage. Ray stood in front of her, dressed in his hunting clothes. He had the new lantern in his right hand. 

"Aren't you going to work?" 

"Nope," he said cheerfully, "I called in sick," 

"Called in sick?" she echoed. 

Terrific, he had no sick leave so he wouldn't get paid for today and they needed a full paycheck to pay the rent. He had spent most of last week’s pay buying a round of drinks at the bar on his way home.

She had asked Ray once if it would be ok for her to get a job; he had gone ballistic accusing her of saying he couldn't provide for his family, so she had dropped it.

"Yep, come on, let's go." 

"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" she thought. 

"You want to explore the passage?" 

"Sure. Like you said, it might be fun."

"Why couldn't you wake me when you got up so I could be getting ready while you were?" she started to say, but bit her tongue not wanting to spoil his cheerful mood. After all, she was getting what she wanted. Sort of.

"Sure it will," she said rubbing her eyes, "It will just take me a moment." She slipped her feed into her slippers and pulled her house dress over her head. She felt grungy but she knew Ray would never wait for her to shower and dress properly. 

The passage was narrow, just barely wide enough for them to walk side by side. They walked straight ahead for several minutes. Based on her daily walks outside, she estimated they had gone about half a block. Given the direction she thought they were going, that would put them under the corner convenience mart. She smiled thinking of Dan the owner. He was very kind and clearly liked her. She fantasized sometimes about how things might have worked out if she had met him before she met Ray. She loved Ray. Really she did. Just sometimes it would be nice if he were more thoughtful of her feelings.

Dan knew their budget was tight and once he had given her a couple of pounds of ground meat claiming that it was fine but because it had turned brown on the outside, no one would buy it and so he would just have to throw it away. Ray wanted to know where she got the money to buy meat. He went ballistic when she told him. He took their dinner, put it in a garbage bag and threw it in the trash barrel in the alley.

Dan was the only person close to a friend that she had. 

Ray had managed to drive off all of the friends she had when they got married. If they were male, Ray was convinced she was having an affair. If they were female, he thought they were providing her with an excuse to get out of the house and cheat. After a while, they just all quit coming around.

Ray brought her mind back to the present by bumping her and knocking her into the damp moss covered walls of the passage. She lost her balance on the slippery cobble stone floor and fell into him. They both went down together with her landing on top of him. The lantern, still in his hand landed hard but upright on the floor.

"You clumsy idiot," he shouted, roughly pushing her away. "watch what you’re doing. What if you had broken the lantern my first time to use it."

"Sorry," she said meekly secretly boiling inside. "Why didn't you just let me use it and go on to work like a responsible person," she thought but knew better than to say.

The signs had been there when they first met: The cruelty to animals, the accusations that she was secretly seeing someone else. But, she hadn't known they were signs at the time. She thought if she married him, he would be reassured and everything would be ok.

But, it hadn't been ok. 

The passage turned. A cool breeze of musty air brushed her face and tickled her nose causing her to sneeze.

As they rounded the corner, a large round cavern opened up before them. Rough rocky sides sparkled with breath-taking color as light from an unknown source illuminated them. Some stalagmites clustered together in the middle of the cavern had been used to fashion seats around taller ones that served as tables overlooking a pond that took up almost the entire back half of the cavern. Between the tables and pond was a well. A rope attached to a red bucket lay coiled up beside it. The words "WISHING WELL" were engraved on the side of the well.

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

She ran up to the well and looked in. Whatever lit the walls of the cavern also lit the inside of the well. The water was crystal clear. At the bottom she could read the words. 

"Make a wish."

"I wish Ray was more loving," she smiled to herself.

Ray was just coming up beside her.

The water of the well became cloudy and a thick mist rose out and settled down around them both. It was so thick she couldn’t make out Ray standing beside her. She reached for Ray but he wasn't there. She felt terror as she thought of Ray abandoning her here and taking the lantern with him. After several minutes that seemed like an hour, the mist cleared. 

In front of her stood a little boy about 4 years old. A large hunting shirt drooped over his shoulders. He stood in a large pair of hunting boots and a pair of hunting pants was piled up around his angles. The hunting lantern lay tipped over on the ground beside him. 

She knelt down and looked into his eyes. She pushed back a lock of hair to reveal a small birthmark.

"Hello," she said.

He looked up at her and smiled. 

There was no recognition in his eyes, but it was Ray. It had to be. No one else would have a birthmark like that.

"What is your name?" she asked.

He looked at the side of the well and around the cavern, then back up at her. "I don't know," he said.

"Would you like to go with me?" she asked.

Nodding, he reached his arms toward her and she lifted him up balancing him on one hip as she checked the lantern. 

It was still lit. 

As she walked back through the passage way to the basement, she smiled to herself and wondered if Dan liked children.