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<p class="MsoNormal">Valerie, combine your first three lines into
two like this.<span class="DefaultParagraphFont1"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="Normal0" style="line-height:107%"><span
style="font-size:12.0pt;
line-height:107%">Blue-gray cat </span>awakens, <span
style="font-size:12.0pt;
line-height:107%"></span></p>
<p class="Normal0" style="line-height:107%">yawns,
s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Delete "he" from the next line. Of course
you'll
need to change the period at the end of the previous line to a
comma.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Combine your third and fourth lines like
this.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="Normal00" style="line-height:107%">takes<span
style="font-size:12.0pt;
line-height:107%"> in life around </span>him,<span
style="font-size:12.0pt;
line-height:107%"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the next two lines, try this.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="Normal01" style="line-height:107%"><span
style="font-size:12.0pt;
line-height:107%">begins his fastidious </span>cleaning--<span
style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Otherwise, I love how the poem portrays this
cat's waking
ritual.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">***</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Leonard, in the following line, I still feel
"sun"
should not be capitalized.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;mso-fareast-theme-font:
minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New
Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">When
the sweeping Sun and </span>stars</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I love the last line. "Your father took
faster than I
could give."</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">***</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Brad, I like the way this poem's rhyme scheme
expresses your
sentiments about this goddess. I can think of nothing that needs
to be changed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">***</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Alice, in the paragraph where you mention
your hometown's
fight with the coal company, you say you were in the newspaper
again. Since
there was no previous reference to you being in the newspaper,
you don't need
"again." I suggest you say you were in the newspaper several
times
regarding this issue.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Otherwise, you<span style="mso-spacerun:yes">
</span>tell
some good stories. I like the point this piece makes.</p>
</p>
<div class="moz-signature">-- <br>
Abbie Johnson Taylor, Author <a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com">http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com</a>
<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com">http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com</a>
<a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:abbietaylor945@gmail.com">abbietaylor945@gmail.com</a>
Order my new memoir at
<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com/memoir.htm">http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com/memoir.htm</a></div>
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