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<p class="MsoNormal"><u>For the record, I have never found your work
tedious.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On the contrary, I find most of
it quite good. Of course, there are some areas I find troublesome from time to
time, but that is true for most of the works I read, even the ones that are
page turners. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>For example, I like this
poem a whole lot. That doesn’t mean I don’t notice things when I’m looking for
them. If I were not looking for something to comment on here, I would
thoroughly just enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A lot of the
times, I hope people don’t take my comments seriously. I only want to bring
some things in focus to stimulate thought.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes">
</span>I love this poem, and you should probably pay little attention to my
comments, because it is exceptionally good the way it is, without changing a
single dot.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Also, I learned a lot about
Merlyn from it that I had not known.</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>One thing I will point out is that you use ‘and’
exceedingly often they sound nice, but I suggest you take the challenge of
trying alternatives to many of them. </u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
In the Isle of Avalon they sing<br>
songs Of The Once and Future King.<br>
He slumbers there on soft green grass<br>
and time it barely seems to pass.</p>
<ul style="margin-top:0in" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>Leave
out ‘it.’</u><br>
<br>
By subtle spell I did there wake<br>
called by The Lady Of The Lake .<br>
As my heart was empty and hope was gone</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>Since
up to now you have been using a beat of 8 with an occasional 9, I thought
it would be helpful to suggest a way you could keep this line to a nine.
One example would be:</u></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>For my heart was void and hope had fled. This would also
eliminate two was’s on the same line.</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
she drew me hence to Avalon. <br>
<br>
Its fields and vineyards knew my tread<br>
and in meadows green I made my bed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>You don’t need<span style="mso-spacerun:yes">
</span>‘and’. Without it you keep an 8 beat. The rhythm is not disturbed.</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
The enchantress taught me many things<br>
of lore and spells and bygone kings.<br>
<br>
I learned to play the lute and lyre<br>
and the secret magic's of bale fire.<br>
I gained great wisdom, renown and fame<br>
and all who dwelt there knew my name. <br>
<br>
I studied herbs and the healing arts<br>
and never failed with crossbow darts.<br>
I became adept with sword and lance <br>
and my standing there did fast advance.<br>
<br>
I had the gift of vision dreams<br>
and could weave the light of bright Moon beams.<br>
I was known as bard and sage by all<br>
and one day received The Lady's call.<br>
<br>
"For Arthur's Merlin you shall be<br>
and with him return across the sea.<br>
To unite the peoples once again<br>
in a kingdom that will never end."</p>
<ul style="margin-top:0in" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l2 level1 lfo3;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>But
emmediately below you say it did end.</u><br>
<br>
So through labors Camelot was wrought<br>
though its establishment was dearly bought.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l2 level1 lfo3;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>If
you don’t want to run into 10 beats you could leave out ‘though.’</u><br>
<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And today naught but a legend told<br>
and a hope in memory for men to hold.<br>
<br>
<br style="mso-special-character:line-break">
<br style="mso-special-character:line-break">
</li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>I like the theme of how people from opposite sides of a
conflict can still come together in mutual love and respect. It is also a
testament to the power that following one’s own heart rather than blind
tradition and narrow values may lead to purity and greatness.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is also a history lesson.</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Unfortunately, it also warns that good will alone may not
stop a war that rages around the enlightened. The story mentions this fact
almost in passing.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, the lesson is
not lost that there are prices to pay for one’s own inner integrity.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The overall message is that the triumph and
hope lies in <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>the acts of love
regardless of apparent outcome. </u><br>
<br>
They called Il Poverello--<br>
Francesco, little poor man.<br>
He danced in the town square<br>
as Assisi's
townfolk marveled.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
Is this Pietro Bernardone's son?<br>
Didn't he work in his <br>
father's cloth shop?<br>
<br>
He spent his family's money<br>
on banquets and danced in<br>
outrageous costumes of <br>
red velvet and silk, a sight, indeed!<br>
<br>
Now, clad in simple garment, the color of dirt,<br>
he is disowned by Pietro;<br style="mso-special-character:line-break">
<br style="mso-special-character:line-break">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"He is mad!" Pietro curses and <br>
Francesco's mother cries.<br>
<br>
"He is a child of God," the people say.<br>
<br>
Barefoot and laughing, he singspraises to God<br>
as he gathers followers, rich and poor<br>
to serve the crucified Christ, with joy--<br>
"He is Risen! Peace and All Good!"<br>
<br>
Care for the lepers, poor, ill,<br>
acting out the Gospel stories with<br>
voice and action captivated the <br>
children as he crawled in snow, bleeting like a sheep.<br>
<br>
Even the Pope blessed him: flourish like the palm tree!"<br>
How they did! Nobles, priests and the</p>
<ul style="margin-top:0in" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>I<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>don’t understand the phrase, “How they
did.</u></li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
beautiful Clare were God's little ones!</p>
<ul style="margin-top:0in" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>I
don’t understand these last 3 lines. Who is the Beautiful Clair? What is
this saying? I get the general drift, but not specific references.</u><br>
<br>
So, when Francesco went to Sultan Alec Al Camil,<br>
he begged for an end to the<br>
bloody Crusades.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list .5in"><u>How
could the Muslims stop the crusades. Weren’t they the ones under attack?</u><br>
<br>
<br>
Two men, meeting, gazing in one</li></ul>
<p class="MsoNormal">another's eyes, truly read each other's heart.<br>
Talking, sharing, the two became friends.<br>
Though he couldn't stop the bloodshed,<br>
Sultan Camil offered safe entry to <br>
the Holy Land and his respect.<br>
<br>
How true a testament to faith and love<br>
this story carried down the ages!<br>
Would that today the dialogue of<br>
Saint and Sultan bring us <br>
respect and friendship in bloody times!<br>
<u>So be it to that.</u><br>
<br>
<br>
-Valerie Moreno<br>
<br>
8-5-18<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Francis of Assisi, 1182-1226<br>
_______<br>
How I'd love to be a cloud floating high above all the people rushing<br>
'round/with nothing more to do than let the rain come down/watch the<br>
colors<br>
change on earth to green from brown/what mighty peace I'd find.<br>
-Yusuf/Cat Stevens</p>
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