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<p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_GoBack"></a> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Springtime Greetings to Group Two!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Here
is the
second part of my comments from our April 10 critique session.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">3.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Abbie:<span
style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>"Garden"</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>This
acrostic is well-trimmed, with no unnecessary words.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Consider a more creative title, rather than a
label which reveals
the acrostic.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>For
example, consider
"Backyard Vegetable Basket."</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Place a dash at the end of the first and
second lines to set
off the appositive phrase which has commas within.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Depending on how you view the punctuation of
an acrostic,
you may consider a semicolon at the end of the "R" and "D"
lines, due to the commas within.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Consider revising the final line from</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"New beginnings come forth." to</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"New beginnings venture forth."<span
style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>or</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"New beginnings veggie forth."</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This short acrostic which focuses on nature
will be a good
submission for THE WEEKLY AVOCET.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">4.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Leonard:
<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>""A Price to Pay"</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I really like the thoughtful and great
contrast in the
following:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Though I am old and declining,</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">my garden is forever fresh."</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This poem has a very good ending line:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"... for the sake of his dream garden."</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Another contrasting point which creatively
stood out in
these verses is the lack of slumber for the gardener versus the
"planting
beds."</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This poem deserves commendation for its
realistic portrayal
of a not-so-young gardener who is determined to create his
"dream
garden"--despite challenges.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Once again, the poet demonstrates a good
choice of
vocabulary.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If I recall correctly, I think we may have
suggested that
this poem be submitted to THE WEEKLY AVOCET; however, after
re-reading the
guidelines and remembering what someone else told me about this
publication, I
wonder if this poem focuses more on the gardener than the
garden.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If so, this poem
may be better submitted to
another publication.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I
hope this
meaningful poem does reach a wider audience/readership.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">* * *</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Thanks to all of you for sending your
comments about my poem
which I posted on my blog and on the WPL on the 11th.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Looking forward to our next critique session
on May
22--Alice</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:ajm321kh@wi.rr.com">ajm321kh@wi.rr.com</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">April 23, 2018, Monday</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p>
</p>
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