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<p class="MsoNormal">Hi all,</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Please forgive the fact that I neglected to check for my own
spelling and grammar. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Leonard</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">----</p>
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<![endif]--><p><u><br><br><br># 1 Alice<br></u></p>
<p><u><span style="text-decoration:none"> </span></u></p>
<p><u>I think this is one of your very best poems. </u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal" style="text-align:center" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Holding Wintered Memories</b></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal" style="text-align:center" align="center"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">by Alice
Jane-Marie Massa</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">My wintered memories float gracefully</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">on springtime ponds and summer lakes;</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>Beautiful<span style="mso-spacerun:yes">
</span>opening lines.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">but now, in this fourth season of the year,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>I would leave out the word ‘fourth.’ The line<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>flows better without it. Your next line
defines the season.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">my tears freeze</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">so that my memories skate—</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>I would replace<span style="mso-spacerun:yes">
</span>‘so that’ with ‘and.’<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Beautiful imagery and metaphor.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">glide upon the smooth iced surface</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">and fancifully form</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">figure-eight's.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>I suggest combining the last two lines.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">Can you crochet </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">my memories into snowflakes</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">falling from Your skies</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>Beautiful 3 lines.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">so that I may always recall,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>Leave out the beginning word, ‘so.’</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">before my wintered eyes,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">the precious moments of holiday seasons?</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>These last 2 lines together with the 3 lines
preceding them are supurb.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">Let the dear memories woven into snowflakes</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">gently kiss my rosy cheeks,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">and let my boots tread heavily </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">upon the snowflakes</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>This line needs another beat. Something like, “
snowflaked Earth.”</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">woven with memories</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">that weary my skater's soul.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>Marvelous.</u> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">Then, too, some of my memory tears--</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">tears of gladness and tears of sadness--</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">form ever-growing icicles </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">from my snow-covered roof.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>replace the word ‘covered’ with a one syllable
word like ‘cloaked.’ </u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">Let these frozen memories</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">hold on,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">hold on,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">hold on<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>...</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>I like that repetition.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">become thicker</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">and longer,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">longer,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">longer.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">I pray</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">my frozen memories last</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">until my last day</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>really great the way you have done<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>this whole section.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">with a great guide dog</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">in this wintered wonderland.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">While I do not profess to be old,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">I confess that I am of that certain age</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">when I hold less hope</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">and hold more memories.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><u>fabulous concept. I never heard expressed this
way. Absolutely grand.</u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">So, please </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">let the winter wind always </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">whisper to me,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">warm my heart with,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">and ever let me hold in my knitted-gloved hands</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">treasured wintered memories.</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal">----</p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><u>#2 Val</u></b></p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><u><span style="text-decoration:none"> </span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>It’s agood rendition of the<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Christmas story with Mary’s experience being
acentral part of the theme.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I like the
interpretation<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>that this was not a time
for the woes and conflicts of humankind to be resolved and put away as a thing
of the past. It began a chapter of Man’s sojourn<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>in a conflict filled corporeal
existence.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>the battle between those
conflicting forces continues today, but the star of wonder is there to show a
way. One of the titles of the Christ is the Wayh Shower.</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mother<br>
<br>
She went unnoticed in throngs of people,<br>
riding carefully as they rushed by her<br>
unaware of her pale face and trembling<br>
as Joseph guided the way, his mouth moving with prayer.<br>
<br>
Repeatedly, they looked in homes and Inns,<br>
with no empathy or concern--there was nothing--<br>
until an Innkeeper offered the animal'' stable.<br>
<br>
Childbirth came on the floor with straw for <br>
the young mother, a feeding trough for a newborn boy.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Why would a newborn need a feeding trough?</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
The ox, donkeys and other critters sensed the wonder<br>
that beamed from the baby's face and the smile of<br>
his mother as she wrapped the baby warmly.<br>
<br>
Joseph tended to both of them, radiant grace surrounded the three as <br>
a new, blazing star risen in the sky—</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Shouldn’t the word be ‘rose?”</u><br>
<br>
a sign for today, fulfillment for the future</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
where evil and good would battle for power.<br>
Every hope and heartache would culminate in this baby boy<br>
on a long journey that would cross ways and will.<br>
<u>I love these last 3 lines because it is real and not pie in the sky.It is a
terrific culmination with which I resonate.</u><br>
Mother cradles him in her arms, her blue eyes glistening.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>The blue eyes throws me a little. I always assumed that
there were very few middle eastern people who did not have dark eyes.
especially in that period<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>when there
wasn’t as much mixing of peoples that we have today.</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br>
It was beginning now, a fateful time and story<br>
supernatural.</p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><u>#3 Abbie</u></b></p>
<p><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><u><span style="text-decoration:
none"> </span></u></b></p>
<p><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><u>One of the things I like the most
about this piece is how it catches the essence of the experience in a minimum
number of words.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It has a haiku kind of
quality</u></b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>On an early summer evening,</p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">thunder booms--lightning flashes—</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">rain pelts the city.</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">In an airplane, buffeted about </span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Courier New"">I like the word combination of
‘buffeted about.</span></u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">with sickening, continuous, </span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Courier New"">ditto to ‘sickening
continuous.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It makes me feel sick. No
offense.</span></u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">up, down, sideways motion,</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">over the loudspeaker, </span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">the pilot says we may be diverted.</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New""> </span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">I fight back my lunch,</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Courier New"">Interesting concept of fighting
back against your lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I assume you
won.</span></u></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">grip the armrests, close my eyes.</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">The roller coaster gradually ceases.</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;mso-bidi-font-family:
"Courier New"">The plane lands--I’m home!</span></p>
<p class="aolmailmsoplaintext"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size:10.5pt;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Courier New"">Surprising, positive, sudden end.
All is well. I didn’t expect that.</span></u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="aolmailmsonormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><u><span style="text-decoration:none"> </span></u></b></p>
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