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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sally April<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>INTRODUCTION<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rework roughly for example: <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dear Reader,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I am a private person who never intended to write my poems and prose for wide distribution. Yet, here we are, you and I, sharing my emotions and memories compiled in a book I didn’t set out to publish. Initially, I wrote as a personal way to unearth and process my feelings when dearly loved people and animals died. I shared some of my writing with a critique group and close friends but, un like my colleagues who were submitting work to journals for publication, I was content to hand a poem, literally or metaphorically, to a single reader in the hope she or he might find help, empathy, or solace. It was the literary equivalent of sitting at my kitchen table with a friend as we shared cups of tea and whatever emotions surfaced. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Several friends and members of a monthly critique group and the larger online writers’ group, Behind Our Eyes comprised of writers with disabilities, urged me to compile a collection of my work to reach a wider audience. It wasn’t until I viewed each piece as part of a whole that I realized the common theme of adjusting to loss. As I re-read my own words, I wished I could trade the words for another chance for more time with the people and animals I had lost. Sadly, life doesn’t give any of us that option, so I decided to keep their memories alive through words and to send those words wherever this book might take them. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>While the writing here is drawn from my personal life experiences, I believe that many like me, later in life, also struggle with the death of a spouse or parent, an aging body, illness, caregiving, and mapping new ways forward into unknown territory alone or under changed circumstances.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>After a year of COVID lockdown, we all walk with some degree of sadness and bewilderment as we seek to live with loss. Although I don’t believe in closure, I do think that, after loss and change, we are, at our core, resilient human beings who can come out of the shadow of sorrow and choose to take small steps at first, and then larger ones, into a future that is different but, nonetheless, beckoning.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard<span style='font-size:10.0pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>Garden Melee<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Tongue in cheek – a messy garden equals messy writing. I think this can be cleaned up for clarity.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Punctuation: <span style='color:black'>A garden is peaceful. A place to meditate, relax, flex your muscles and all that rot.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Try: A garden is peaceful, a place to meditate, relax, flex your muscles, and all that rot.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Rework: <span style='color:black'>Yes, you read me right, the word is rot, balderdash and a big lie.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Try: <span style='color:black'>A peaceful garden? Balderdash! Yes, you read me right, the word is rot. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rework: <span style='color:black'>If you have a time camera it will tell the story. The story it tells is of a very slow-moving battleground of competition.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Try: If you have a time camera, it will tell the story of a slow-moving battle of competing forces.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Or: A time camera would tell the story of a slow-moving competition.</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Tense/delete etc.: <span style='color:black'>Each species of plant vying for the best soil, the most sunlight, the most protected spots, etc.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Try: Each species of plant vies for the best soil, the most sunlight, and the most protected spot.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Reword: <span style='color:black'>So, the conflicts tend to give the impression of peacefulness.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Try: The competition may appear peaceful.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>simplify: <span style='color:black'>Luckily, each species has its preferences, and does well under different environmental situations. They don’t all want the same things, and cannot dominate under all circumstances. So, the conflicts tend to give the impression of peacefulness. But if you are trying to contain a weed, or prevent one plant from dominating another, you know what I’m talking about. It’s a balance of power in most natural circumstances, but a garden is not a natural place. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>That may seem to be a strange statement to make about a garden, but unless you are a master gardener and know how to plant species that are natural collaborators with each other, and otherwise create a natural balance, you have to impose your will by weeding and other tasks which are not exactly the way nature intended life to work.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>But we want our gardens to be beautiful according to our standards, and we will go through great pains to see that things go our way.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'>Try: <span style='color:black'>Luckily, each species has its preferences and does well in different environmental situations. They don’t each want the same thing and cannot dominate under all circumstances. The conflicts appears peaceful unless you try to contain weeds or prevent one plant from dominating another. You know what I’m talking about. It’s a balance of power in nature, but a garden is not a natural place. That may seem to be a strange statement, but unless you are a master gardener and know how to plant species that are natural collaborators, you have to impose your will and create a balance by weeding and other work which is not exactly the way nature intended.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='color:black'>We desire beautiful gardens according to our standards, and we go through great pains to see that things go our way.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Deanna April<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Shadow<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Another fun trip in the mind of a dog!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Punctuation: I know K. stands for kitty<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: I know “K” stands for kitty<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Move comma: It’s lucky I am a versatile assistant, because except for taking her out for exercise, I don’t get much work requiring my professional training.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: It’s lucky I am a versatile assistant because, except for taking her out for exercise, I don’t get much work requiring my professional training.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Move: together with friends. I do try to cheer her up and take every opportunity to get her to play with me. There is nothing like a good game of tug or catch to cheer a person up.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>New paragraph: We were almost late today<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Inside quote marks: put her hand under my face and said “out!” I gave it to her<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: put her hand under my face and said ‘out!’ I gave it to her<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Also: and Cecily said, dumb dumb dumb. I don’t think<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: and Cecily said ‘dumb, dumb, dumb.’ I don’t think<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Also: She said ‘out’ again<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dialogue contractions: So, if you will excuse me, I need to go clean up the floor before Cecily steps on the cheese and grinds it into the carpet, then I will need a little nap. Bye-bye!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go clean up the floor before Cecily steps on the cheese and grinds it into the carpet, then I’ll need a little nap. Bye-bye!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora April<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Creeped Out</span><span style='color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'> </span><span style='color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Reword: All the slots under the car port of the two story apartment building across from the apartment I was living in during the mid-1980s, were in their places. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Try: All the car ports under the two story building across from the apartment I was living in during the mid-1980s were occupied. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Reword: One resident was turning down the North side of their building. Probably Headed for the laundry, I thought. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Try: Another resident was strolling down the North side of their building, probably Headed for the laundry, I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Reword: </span><span style='color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Following the landing around, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Try: Following the landing, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Delete “it”: It was a bright sunny spring morning. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Try: The sunny spring morning was bright. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.5pt;line-height:105%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Heighten tension: Nearing the fourth or fifth car port on my side, I tensed. Was I being followed? Disturbed, I looked over my shoulder. The dawn light was dim. No one was there. Ahead of me, the sun was shining. Hmmm, I couldn't shake my fear. I looked behind me again. Despite a slight breeze, the air was heavy and damp. I saw only darkness behind me. Creeping along the access road between the two buildings at the same speed I was walking was a dark grey cloud. I stopped and stared. Did it stop, too? Or, was it moving? It wasn't raining. Everything in front and behind me was dry. I looked up again. A dark low hanging cloud was definitely on my tail. I quickened my pace , keeping a wary eye on the sky. The ominous cloud was still there, keeping pace with me. I tossed the trash bag in the dumpster, and was gripped with the realization …hope you get the idea! Try to do this with the rest of your piece.</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>