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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Critique, February 2021<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>NIGHT VISITOR<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Lovely, as always. Poignant I especially liked the closing lines. No suggestions.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Marcia<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>a pie cooking contest, usually such a contest is called a pie baking contest.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Yellow squash and corn husks roastedon gargantuan grills. I think you meant ears of corn, rather than corn husks which are just the leaves that wrap around the cobb annd kernels of corn. Or corn on the cobb might also work here.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>My stomach was stretched to its limit. . Remove the second periodafter limit <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>In the Immediate Release notice, you have Veronica’s last name as Derringer, like the pistol. Later, you refer to her as Miss Berringer. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Leonard<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Balls of Fire<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>I can see what Marcia meant about the first sentence.Perhaps: In 1980, I was on my way home from work. The sentence I lived 20 miles from my house in Ruckkersville. I think you meant to say that I worked about 20 miles from my house in Ruckersville Virginia.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>I was in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>I know I don’t want to ever again You need an exclamation or period at the end of your sentence.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'> Perhaps Heaven and earth. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Cleora<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>I think this piece is tighter and keeps the focus on the subject. I think though that it needs citations of the sources you used for the statements you make. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Warm Regards,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cell: 573-544-3511<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Email: <a href="mailto:dqnoriega@gmail.com"><span style='color:#0563C1'>dqnoriega@gmail.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Author of <i>Fifty Years of Walking with Friends<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class=MsoNormal><i>https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/</i><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>