<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 15 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;}
a:link, span.MsoHyperlink
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:#0563C1;
text-decoration:underline;}
a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:#954F72;
text-decoration:underline;}
span.EmailStyle17
{mso-style-type:personal;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
color:windowtext;}
span.EmailStyle18
{mso-style-type:personal;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
color:#1F497D;}
span.EmailStyle19
{mso-style-type:personal-reply;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
color:#1F497D;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
font-size:10.0pt;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
--></style><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026" />
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1" />
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div><div style='border:none;border-top:solid #E1E1E1 1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in'><p class=MsoNormal><b>From:</b> Sally Rosenthal [mailto:sanford.rosenthal@comcast.net] <br><b>Sent:</b> Friday, October 09, 2020 10:27 PM<br><b>To:</b> 'Deanna Noriega' <dqnoriega@gmail.com><br><b>Subject:</b> RE: [Critique Group 1] Humor piece<o:p></o:p></p></div></div><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'>The local Presbyterian church was overrun with squirrels. In order to deal with the situation, the church council met. They decided that since the believed in predestination, it was God’s will to have the squirrels there and that the congregation would have to welcome them.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'>The Baptist church also had a squirrel problem. They were playing in the baptismal font, so the council decided to put a water slide in the baptismal font so the squirrels would slide down it and drown. However, they learned that squirrels could swim and loved the water slide. So, the Baptists trapped all the squirrels and let them loose on the grounds of the neighboring Lutheran church.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'>The Lutheran church had found itself with a large squirrel population even before the Baptist squirrels were let loose on the property. Deciding that they could never harm any of God’s creatures, the Lutherans humanely trapped all the Lutheran and former Baptist squirrels and let them run free on the Baptist church’s property. So, the next Sunday, there were twice as many squirrels enjoying the water slide.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'>The Catholic church, also infested with squirrels, decided to baptize all of them, making them members of the Catholic church which meant they would only show up on Christmas and Easter.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:#1F497D'>The Jews had the most effective answer to the squirrel problem. When they circumsized the first squirrel they could catch in the temple, they never saw another squirrel. <o:p></o:p></span></p><div><div style='border:none;border-top:solid #E1E1E1 1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in'><p class=MsoNormal><b>From:</b> Group1 [mailto:group1-bounces@bluegrasspals.com] <b>On Behalf Of </b>Deanna Noriega<br><b>Sent:</b> Wednesday, September 30, 2020 9:45 PM<br><b>To:</b> sanford.rosenthal@comcast.net<br><b>Cc:</b> Critique Group 1 <group1@bluegrasspals.com><br><b>Subject:</b> [Critique Group 1] Humor piece<o:p></o:p></p></div></div><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>We want you Sally to send your joke to us. Cleora says she can’t remember it well enough to share it otherwise. Here is my piece that includes religious determination of various guide dog breeds.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Which Breed Is the Best Dog?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(I saw this question on Facebook as a forwarded item without a byline making a comparison between Labrador and golden retrievers. I added the German Shepherds and expanded the comparisons.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Golden retrievers must be touching you at all times. Labs want to touch you at all times. German Shepherds have to see you at all times. If they had a job, Golden retrievers would be social workers. If they had a job, labs would be stand up comedians. If they had a job, German shepherds would be nannies. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Golden retrievers must be Catholics; they understand the need to confess their guilt. Labs must be protestants, “What guilt?” German Shepherds must be agnostics, “I only did what was necessary.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Golden retrievers need attention. Labs want attention. German Shepherds demand attention. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>If Golden retrievers could talk, they would be constantly saying, “I love you! I love you! And if you came home and found a broken lamp, they would say, “I’m a bad dog! I must have broken it even if I was outside the whole time! Oh No, you are unhappy!” If Labs could talk, they would constantly be saying, “Love me! Love Me!” And if you came home to find a broken lamp, they would say, “Broken lamp? Yup, I was having tons of fun and I broke it! Want to see me break the other one? “If German Shepherds could talk they would be constantly saying, “Where are you going, be careful! Let me help you with that!” And if you came home to find a broken lamp, they would declare, I told him not to do it, but the cat broke the lamp anyway!” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Golden retrievers -- long hair—on your clothes, in your food, on your couch, in your bed … everywhere! Labs –short hair—on your clothes, in your food, on your couch, in your bed…everywhere! German Shepherds – multi-colored hair--on your clothes, in your food, on your couch, in your bed…everywhere!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Golden retrievers brush daily; Labs, blow their coats at least twice a year, take them to a groomer for a bath spring and fall, basically wash and wear. German Shepherds are walking fur factories capable of creating huge dust bunnies that are intelligent enough to hide until you put the vacuum cleaner away. You might just consider giving these names and making them members of the family. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Golden Retrievers plead with their lovely eyes to be fed, because if food is around they must have some. Labradors can’t seem to tell what is food, they will try anything to determine if it is potentially edible. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>German Shepherds will decide that their current brand is long past its shelf life and demand a new kind by going on a hunger strike. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Which breed is the best dog depends on what you expect of your dog and which best compliments your personality and lifestyle. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>