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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Ode to Flaws? Plural?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'> <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Use of articles?: <span style='color:black'>Gyroscope spins in perfect balance </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: <span style='color:black'>A gyroscope spins in perfect balance <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Or<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Gyroscopes spin in perfect balance <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Punctuation – try: <span style='color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>Moves in stillness without notice, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:black'>The dweller lives in consummate peace.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Tense: <span style='color:black'>Moves in stillness without notice.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: <span style='color:black'>Moving in stillness without notice.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Clarify, remember tea?: Much older now, I sit<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>And gratefully remember,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A cup of ginger tea<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>And a contented cat’s purrs<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>As company on this tranquil night.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Much older now, I sit,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A cup of ginger tea<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>And a contented cat’s purrs<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>As company on this tranquil night <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>While I gratefully remember.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>Share the sentiment<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoPlainText>I like the first one better<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Love the twitter line<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Deanna<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I always enjoy your animal POV stories.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sweet and sentimental – just like your teacher discouraged.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Delete “just”: I was just a kitten<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: I was a kitten<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Insert comma: Even though I was crouched and kept very still she spotted me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Even though I was crouched and kept very still, she spotted me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Delete “very”: very still<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: still as stone<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Delete “about”: Although Becca was only about ten years old<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Although Becca was only ten years old<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Insert commas: Her mother Ivy came home<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Her mother, Ivy, came home<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Whose lap?: to place me in her lap.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Whose prayer?: when we heard the end of her bedtime prayer<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Opening quote: What will you give for those ribbons?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: “What will you give for those ribbons?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Spell out eighth, insert comma: Nearing the end of my 8<sup>th</sup> life I have no regrets.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Try: Nearing the end of my eighth life, I have no regrets.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Poem first? Not sure….<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>No blank lines between paragraphs<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>