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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sally’s October comments:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna: This is a lovely tribute. The word “Mom” needs to be set off by commas. Because I know you, I know a bit about what you and your mother are going through now, but, if I were a reader coming to the poem cold, I might want to know why you wrote the poem now. Are you a young woman about to leave home? Are you elderly and looking back at your life? Is your mother still alive and able to understand the thank-you? I especially like the part about how she taught you by her example.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora: Because I missed some calls, I am assuming this list is for the group’s clarification or one to be placed at the beginning of your book. I truly admire your imagination and ability to bring forth a complex tale. That said, I have to admit to becoming lost at times with all the characters and their functions and backgrounds. The story has gotten, for me, more and more complex. Did you intend this to happen? Do you think readers will follow the plot and characters? I originally thought this was a children’s book, but now I am wondering if the target audience has shifted. Is this tale to be one book or a series?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia: I got such a kick out of this -- both for the guide dog relationship and for the mixture of humor and packed life. Is “cold weather” coat and gloves a Colorado term? Otherwise, it is not necessary. Leave one of your father’s ages out; if you omit the mention of his being 94, the upcoming 95<sup>th</sup> birthday has more significance to the reader. Change “on account of” to “because.” “Cook up a casserole” is awkward, especially since you use “cook” again so soon. Why not just say “make a casserole?” The sequence of excuses is spot on; moving from the personal to the global makes this piece work so well.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard: I know who Schindler was, but do you think every reader will? Do you want to add a bit of explanation? The part about what great-grandchildren will think is powerful; for me, that thought alone is the poem’s theme. Do you mean “partisan” and “traitor” to be opposites? If so, they really aren’t. A “partisan” could be defined differently by people who hold various views. The “trumps” in the last line should be singular to work with the two subjects. Is the use of “trumps” meant to be ironic? Overall, another thought-provoking and necessary observation.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>