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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally’s June comments:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>DeAnna: I remember reading the first piece before and commenting on how much I liked the humor and how thoroughly you understand and love dogs. I think the other two pieces were equally good. I can’t quite make up my mind, though, if these three pieces should be in the book. Yes, they are guide dog-related, but they seem slightly out of place since other chapters focused on your specific dogs. Perhaps as an addendum?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia: I learned something new about weather in this piece and liked the way you incorporated the meteorological information into the essay. In the sentence about settling at the table, you need to change the part about your father in two ways. First, settling at the table, followed as it is with me with my lunch and him with his breakfast, it would flow better if you replaced the next part with something about you before describing your father’s action with the newspaper. The he sounds out of place. You also need to change happens to happened to be consistent with other past tense verbs. I wondered if you needed to explain earlier to the reader why you needed to hurry to your father’s home. You do give clues such as his eating breakfast while you eat lunch and the mention of his caregiver, though. I would also suggest changing in his 94 year old life to in his 94 years. While I liked the playfulness of the ending, I think the piece ended too quickly and needed a bit more wrapping up.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Leonard: Was this poem inspired by Freedom Day or something else? I think the theme and presentation of the argument are excellent and well thought out. One thing I wonder about: Who is the narrator? I take him to be a white male since women had no vote and very little social or political power during the days of slavery. However, if the crimes are ones, as the narrator suggests, that continue to the present day, the narrator could be any white person, male or female. Would immigrants also be included since certain groups were also discriminated against, although not to the same extent. While the narrator has a change of heart , it comes about quickly within a few lines and seems not grounded. I think this poem could be expanded to also include more responses. Otherwise, a very good and thought-provoking poem.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora: I ran out of time before the call and didn’t write down my comments about the latest installment of Sitting’s adventures. I did, however, comment on the piece during the call. The problem is that now I can’t remember what I said. Many apologies.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>