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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Here is the rest of the book. It is 7,415 words<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>*** *** ***<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><b>Doghouse Productions presents: School Days, a skit written by DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></b></p><p class=MsoNormal>The scene opens with four dogs comfortably relaxing under a table in the dining room at a guide dog training facility. It is the first time they have been gathered together since being matched with the humans they are expected to guide.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roxy is a petite German Shepherd. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Arthur is a larger male shepherd with black predominating. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Milo is a lab golden cross with a golden silkiness to his fur. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Heidi is a small black lab.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Silka appears after the opening scene and is a golden retriever. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Milo lifts his head and begins the discussion:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.5in'>Milo: "Roxy! Who did you get? I got this older lady who talks baby talk to me! She looks like a real softy. Bet I can wind her around my little paw in no time! You know as a cross, I have my golden retriever daddy's charm and the determination of my Labrador mama! She doesn't stand a chance!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roxy: "That sounds cool Milo. But if I were you, I'd wait to work on her until you go home and there aren't any trainers around to set her straight. Mine is this guy with huge feet. He doesn't seem to know what to do with them. He has already stepped on my paw twice and it's only been one afternoon. Still, as a shepherd, I expected to get a person who requires real talent in his guide."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Arthur: "That is true, either someone who needs a lot of looking after or one who will require professionalism in his guide. I have a lawyer working for the government--very hush-hush you understand."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> Heidi: "Boring! I got a guy who keeps missing his mouth. Boy am I going to clean up! Heh heh heh. Um Roxy, I don't see your litter mate Rocco."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roxy: (Sigh,) "I warned him that if he kept peeing on his trainer's shoes he wouldn't get picked in the first draft. He might make it next month if he can learn to control his squirrel addiction. The trainer has put him in the 24 step program. Oh here comes my kennel mate Silka. I am so glad she got a match."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Silka: "I made the cut! I got this chubby lady with interesting smells on her shoes. I detected cat, horse and I think llama. That trainer with kids and a wife who works here has one of those and I've smelled that scent on him before. As a golden, I don't know if I will like living on a farm. There will be all those burrs and stuff to get tangled in my pretty fur. Anyone want to trade? I can slip my tie-down tonight and we could see if they notice the difference. How about it Milo?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Milo: "It might be fun, but since I'm a male and you're not, I don't know how long we could keep up the joke. But hey, it might be worth a try."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Arthur: "Last night, they brought in an older fellow who was coming home to retire. He kept me awake half the night talking about the real world. Personally, I think it will be interesting to get on with my career. I have walked the streets of this town so many times I could do it in my sleep. Even going in to the city gets stale after a while.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Silka: "I can hardly wait! I'll miss my trainer though."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roxy: "Me too, I didn't eat tonight because the thought of leaving her behind and having to take charge of big foot all on my own seems a little scary."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Heidi: "No skipping meals for me thank you. I can hardly wait to get out of here with all these trainers watching. My ambition is to fill out the extra folds in this oversized labby hide of mine."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Arthur: "Let's have a little professionalism please. As graduates from the most Ivy-League of dog universities, we have a proud tradition to uphold when we go forth."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Milo: "Sure, Sure, don't get your tail in a knot, we will uphold the dignity thing, but what I am really looking forward to is the freedom part!" Sleeping on beds, chewing up socks and let us not forget counter surfing here I come!" Oops, heads up, everyone look sharp, here comes a trainer."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This peek into the under the table scene has been brought to you curtesy of Dog-house Productions starring the Hambone Players. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>***<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal>Announcer: “Dog House Productions presents---<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> “Dog Club” A radio play. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>Adapted from a story written by DeAnna Quietwater Noriega.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>Theme song Music by Sheila Styron<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>Performed by The Hambone Players.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Directed by Okay, so we don’t take directions well.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> ((Thirty seconds of lead in music. Fade-out. Song Lyrics:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dog Club,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I think it’s today!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Squirrel Street,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Long light.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Turning left,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Ya! that’s right.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>D-O-G-C-L-U-B,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dog Club, woof!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Twenty seconds of city sounds of traffic, the click of footsteps.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “A beautifully marked black, cream and tan German shepherd moves along the sidewalk with the gliding motion typical of his breed. His narrow head held high, he flows expertly through the crowds weaving gracefully around other pedestrians as he guides a well-dressed woman. Toward him comes a small black lab with a bounce in her step guiding a petite girl with curly red hair. A rangy golden retriever who almost prances as she guides a tall distinguished looking man in turn follows them. The shepherd makes a sharp swerve toward a restaurant door, pausing to ask with his body movements if his lady wishes to enter the establishment.” Granger’s lady: “Door inside! Good boy,”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “As the blind woman reaches for the door handle, the shepherd ignores the little lab’s inquiring nose sniffing at his tail. (Snuff-snuff) The golden veers to touch noses with the lab.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> (The tinkle of a bell on Amanda’s collar.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> Amanda: “Don’t bother him Buffy. He takes his work very seriously. He doesn’t socialize when he’s guiding. <a name="OLE_LINK3"></a><a name="OLE_LINK4">Someone is admiring me. Mark must have groomed me even better than usual. I’m sure it’s because of my feathery tail. I can’t help it! </a>Oh, this is such fun! It must be dog club day and we will all have a chance to catch up with each other’s lives while the humans talk and eat!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator: “</u>The little lab wags her tail so hard she beats a constant tattoo against the legs of the young girl she guides. Her entire small body seems to be vibrating with excitement.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “Amanda, what is dog club? Is it like school? Will there be trainer people to make us behave or will we be able to sneak good stuff off the floor?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Oh, it’s not like school at all. There will be lots of guides there from different schools and you can maybe get a French fry or two if you are not too obvious about it. Now pay attention to following and do your job little one or you’ll get a leash correction!” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Murmured voices clatter of dishes the scrape of chairs fade-out.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Narrator: “The dogs and their partners walk through the restaurant, settling at, and under, the table.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “Hello Amanda, who's your little friend <a name="OLE_LINK5"></a><a name="OLE_LINK6">with the out of control nose and tail?”</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “This is Buffy. She has just come from school with her new partner Stacey. They are going to college. How are you Granger?” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> Granger: “<a name="OLE_LINK7"></a><a name="OLE_LINK8">Just fine, now that the young one is minding her manners. </a>How do you like college Buffy, <a name="OLE_LINK9">and are you representing guide dogs with professional dignity on campus?”</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “<a name="OLE_LINK11"></a><a name="OLE_LINK12">Of course I am trying to be a very good girl, and </a>I love it! All the people want to pet me and some give me stuff to eat cuz Stacey doesn’t always notice what I am doing and I look really pitiful with my big brown eyes and everybody just melts!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “You shouldn’t eat things other people give you. It can make you have an upset stomach and interfere with your work, <a name="OLE_LINK13"></a><a name="OLE_LINK14">especially with all that wiggling and wagging.”</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “A white standard poodle joins the party under the table.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “Oh lighten up <i>cher</i>, you were once young and a bit puppiesque yourself, Granger, and you know labs are always hungry unlike <i>jolie</i> French poodles such as <i>moi</i>. <i>Petetre</i>, it is because they are born with skins a few sizes too large and keep trying to fill them out!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “Chloe, she needs to learn self-discipline if she is going to keep her partner safe.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> A well-padded yellow lab tries to make herself comfortable around a table leg next to the poodle. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> (some lab groans here.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “That’s true, but I’m sure she will learn in time, Relax, Granger. <a name="OLE_LINK15"></a><a name="OLE_LINK16">Doesn’t it feel nice to be all snuggled up here under the table <o:p></o:p></a></p><p class=MsoNormal>with so many good friends. Hi, Buffy. I’m Custard, I’ve been guiding my gentleman for nearly ten years now. Here comes Rocky. Don’t get nervous, he’s a Doberman, but a really nice guy just the same. I think I’ll just rest my snout on his flank steak for a while.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: <a name="OLE_LINK17"></a><a name="OLE_LINK18">“Amanda! What happened to his tail? Did he get it cut off in a door?”</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: <a name="OLE_LINK19"></a><a name="OLE_LINK20">“Some humans think certain breeds look better with their tails and ears cropped or their fur trimmed, lord knows why.”</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: <a name="OLE_LINK21"></a><a name="OLE_LINK22">“Is that why Stacey is always standing in that indoor rain room? She washes off all her own great smell which is absolutely my favorite, and then tries to disguise it even more with funny fake flower ones. Why would anyone want to stand in the rain on purpose?”<o:p></o:p></a></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “You couldn’t take up any more room could you Granger? <a name="OLE_LINK23"></a><a name="OLE_LINK24">I don’t mind snuggling Custard, but shepherds don’t make such good pillows as labs. You would think I could get a little respect being a Doberman.”</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “He can’t help it. It’s his German backbone. I think it comes with one of those stickers that say: don’t bend, spindle or mutilate.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “I am simply lying still and doing my job unlike some others under this table. Who's that? What is he doing? Oh, it's just the waiter! For a moment I thought someone was trying to invade the flock!" ”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “Rocky, Don’t you feel sad not having a tail to wag?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “It’s not so bad kiddo, it happened a long time ago when I was a pup. I hardly notice it anymore and it can be pretty convenient when clumsy types board buses and commuter trains with us. With me being a <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Doberman and with so many people afraid I’ll bite them, it’s a good thing because they don’t have to worry about stepping on what isn’t there.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “Rocky, where’s Sophia?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: Sophia won’t be coming any more. Her arthritis got so bad she couldn’t climb the steps to get on a bus. Her partner has found her a nice family where she can catch up on a little R&R and doesn’t have to do the daily harness grind anymore.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “Are you sure she doesn’t have to stay in a yard all day like those poor dogs who don’t get to go to school? I don’t think I’d like that at all. Sure it’s fun to take the harness off to chase a ball and bark at cats once in a while, but what would Stacey do without me to take care of her?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Oh Sophia was really old. Her coat wasn’t as silky and fluffy as mine is and all Goldens just are, and she was tired too. She worried her eyes weren’t as good as they should be and she might not be able to guide her Gail safely any more. That won’t happen to you for ages. By then maybe Stacey will have a family with kids for you to look after. You are lucky to be Stacey’s first guide dog because she doesn’t always know how to make you mind yet. I have to be really subtle to get around Mark, since I am his third.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “I miss Sophia, and her Gail is already signed up to go back to school next week. You know, Sophia was the one who got her partner Gail and my David together. She had this way of diving under a chair to show Gail where to sit. So one day, she does her dive right under the chair I found for David. Gail landed in his lap and the rest is history.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Granger, you know I’ve had my eye on that pretty little lady of yours for my Mark. Her hair matches my golden fur. What do you think?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “Are you asking my opinion of the human match or whether your coat and her hair go together. Mark would certainly be an improvement over that imbecile who works with my mistress. When he came to take her to a concert, he tried to convince her to leave me home. As if I would trust my precious lady to his care! When he went to fetch her coat, I snatched my harness and leash from the closet. I brought them to my lady and she was so pleased, she insisted I come. He drives one of those little sports cars with hardly any backseat. So I squeezed my head and shoulders between the front bucket seats to make sure he kept his paws to himself. I kept an eye on him all evening. He is such a dummkopf he kept calling me Cujo!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “Good job, Granger. I would have tried to pull the same thing off, but he probably would have been afraid I would bite him and have gotten her to leave me behind.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “Well? What’s so bad about taking a little break now and then? Life is more than getting from point A. to point B. as fast as a squirrel can run up a tree. You know, Why not take a little time to sniff the roses and enjoy all the lovely sunny spots along the way.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “I do sniff as I go sometimes, but Stacey has a lot of places to get too and is always in a hurry. Doesn’t your partner tell you to leave it and hup-up if you walk too slow and admire the scenery? I especially hate that leave it command cuz I think it means stop having fun.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “Not Custard’s partner, he walks slowly and is nearly as round and laid back as she is, which wouldn’t do at all <i>pour moi</i>.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “That’s why they make such a good team. Custard knows all the doughnut shops in town and her guy is always pleased when she finds them for him!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “You can laugh if you like, but I bet I won’t ever have to hang up my harness because I can’t keep up with his pace. No retirement for me thank you very much, I plan to work if you can call it that until I make it all the way to the Rainbow Bridge. I may go slow, but I get there and watching out for traffic isn’t much harder than keeping an eye out for falling French fries.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “Speaking of traffic! <i><span lang=FR>Oo-la-la-la-la!</span></i><span lang=FR> </span>I had a close call the other day. Darling girl and <i>moi</i> had just started across the street when this big truck came around the corner doing a right on red without even stopping. <i>Je ne sais pas</i> how he could have possibly not noticed me as I had just come from the groomer’s.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Oh my silky ears! What did you do?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: <i>Je le deteste</i> when traffic that should be going straight changes its mind and comes barreling at me. It’s enough to make my hair stand straight on end! So terrible for the coiffure, you know? <i>Alors</i>, before that eighteen-wheeler could cause any disarray with my poodle puffs or anything plus <i>dangereux</i> like turning darling girl or <i>moi</i> into road kill, I did an arabesque and got us back on to the curb. <i>Cher</i>, I could have sat down and cried I was so shaken. But we didn’t have time for that because we were late for my pedicure. Do you like this shade of pink?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Oh, it’s lovely, but not for me with my feathery golden paws.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “Oh my goodness! What is that? I heard they were training miniature horses to guide, but I haven’t seen anything like him since I used to watch Sesame Street with my puppy raiser’s baby sister!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Hush now sugar. You’ll hurt his feelings. That’s Dandy, he’s a labra-doodle.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “A what’s-a-doodle?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “His mama was a Labrador like you and Custard, but his papa was a poodle like Chloe.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: <i>Mon dieu</i>, do not compare me to that, <i>soil vows plait</i>!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Heavy panting and the scrape of a chair as a latecomer joins the group.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Make room! Wide load, coming through! Hi gang! How’s it hangin’? Oops, guess I should rephrase that since for us, it ain’t hangin’ any more. How‘s it goin’?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Chorus of greetings from the assembled dogs.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “You wouldn’t believe my day so far! I knew it must be dog club day so there I am trying to get my blink moving. He wanders around for twenty minutes before I notice he’s only wearing one shoe. So I grab the other one from the middle of the floor and start following him around trying to give it to him. No dice, he never notices that I have it in my mouth and keeps telling me to wait and he’ll take me out to park in a minute. So finally when I can’t take the flavor another second, I shove it into his hands. Why do humans wear all that extra stuff anyway? I can understand they don’t have enough fur to keep warm, but if they went out without shoes for a while their feet would toughen up pretty quick. Instead, they try to get us to wear those ridiculous dog booties!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “You shouldn’t call your partner such a disrespectful name.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Easy for you to say, you’ve got that classy dame to look after. Now me, I’ve got this clown that spends more time walking on my paws than he does on the floor. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy, but he really is a basket case and needs a lot of looking after. He gets lost walking across the room. I can’t count the times I have had to guess where he thinks he’s going and get us there. If I guess wrong, he gets pissed. Doesn’t he know us dogs are dyslexic and can’t read signs or minds either for that matter!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “Hi, I’m Buffy. We were almost late today too. See that bulge in Stacey’s coat pocket? That’s my new ball! We were walking to the bus and had to go past the place where people hit lovely fuzzy balls with these webbed paddle things and I saw it lying in the middle of the sidewalk. I wagged my whole rear end I was so pleased someone left it there for me and scooped it up. Stacey must have thought it was something to eat because she stopped and put her hand under my face and said “out!” I gave it to her and she must have wanted to play because she threw it down the street. I ran after it and Stacey came too because she was still holding my leash. I didn’t know she could run so fast. I caught it on the third bounce and Stacey said, “Dumb, dumb, dumb.” I don’t think she meant me though because she was hitting herself on the head. She said out again and I thought we might play some more, but she put my ball in her pocket and we hurried to the bus-stop.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “good to meetcha kid.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “The darling girl doesn’t have much of a sense of direction, but she does know the way <i>bien sur</i> and takes me regularly to the salon to have my hair and nails done and she bought me this gorgeous burgundy custom-made harness and leash. She seems to <i>vraiment</i> adore <i>moi</i>.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Oh, my bozo lays on the praise, but do you think he ever thinks I might also like a beer to unwind after a hard day? I have to knock it off the arm of his chair with my Kong and lap it up quick while he looks for the paper towels!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “When my lady has a glass of wine, I feel it is my duty to be the designated driver. In my opinion, one of the team should remain sober.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Well maybe, but after all I do for him, he has the nerve to get mad when I stretch out on his bed for a nap. If that rug in the corner is so great, why doesn’t he try sleeping there?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “Hey, Dandy sport, did you ever think the trainer might have given you the guy because you have what it takes to handle such a tough assignment, unlike me the marshmellow dobie?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Now there’s a thought! Who would a thunk it? Not just any dog could guide old lard butt um, I mean my partner as easily as I do!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> Dandy has a superior self-satisfied expression on his clownish face. Chloe rolls her eyes and exchanges a glance with Amanda. Granger raises a single eyebrow.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “Ahem! Heaven preserve us, a doodle with a mission!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “My gentleman lets me sleep on his bed. Except when -that woman -comes over to spend the night. When she came last time, I waited until she was getting undressed and put my cold nose on her bare behind. She let out a banshee shriek and when I was sure I had her attention, I snatched up her unmentionables and started galloping all around the apartment! Good thing she is even more out of shape than I am. She came jiggling and jouncing after me trying to catch me and yelling words I never heard before! My gentleman just sat on the bed laughing his head off. When I got out of breath, I dropped the nasty things on the floor without having torn anything or even making them very slimy. She didn’t seem to appreciate the gesture. She shoved them in her purse so she could get dressed faster and then flounced out the door in a huff without even stopping to give me a treat. My gentleman sighed and patted my place on the bed for me to come up. Speaking of real bitches, I don’t think we will be seeing that one for a while.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: Oh my, you naughty girl! Puppy ears shouldn’t be hearing such things.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “I sometimes steal Stacey’s pillow off the bed.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “I love my David and my job. What I hate is all those dogs that haven’t anything better to do than come charging at you, barking really mean and loud As if I really cared to go into their old yards anyway.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “I agree, those pit bulls in particular are crazy! They seem to want to pick a fight with the whole world. It’s not that I am really so brave, but I want to bite them for upsetting my lady and find myself unprofessionally growling back at them.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “Bad idea friend, my breed is known for their fighting ability and I wouldn’t take one of those guys on for a whole box of milk bones.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “If it’s less than twenty pounds I think it should be classed a rodent. I grabbed a foul-mouthed Chihuahua by the scruff of his scrawny little neck once and carried him a block then gave him a good shake before dropping him at the down curb. You should have seen the little bugger run off looking for Taco Bell!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “Ole!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “You know we’ve really got a good thing going here, being guides and all. Those bullies are jealous, because they can see us out and about everywhere, even getting to take naps under tables in fancy restaurants.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(a loud raspberry sound) <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “Excuse me, must have been something I ate!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Oh lord, Custard honey, you’ve been helping yourself to kitty roca from the litter box again! Haven’t you?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: “Well they shouldn’t leave it out buffet style if they don’t want us to snack on it.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “Stacey says my paws smell like Fritos, whatever they are. But what is that smell? I, Ugh, don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything like it before!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Labby groans)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Sorry guys, that's my human. They say we should be on a regular, consistent diet, then they eat the most awful stuff. If that man eats any more onion dip….”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Maybe if I ate onion dip, people wouldn’t try to distract me so much when I am working, but I don’t know if I’d like being ignored as much as I like being admired.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “The ones I’m really a sucker for are the rug rats. They have such sweet sticky hands and faces. All it takes is one of them running up calling out goggy to me and I lose it. People are always trying to guess what breed I am and maybe that’s it, I’m just a goggy.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Chloe: “It is <i>tres dificile</i> to ignore admirers, especially when you are so beautiful. But it can bring on an <i>horrifique</i> headache to be the object of so much attention.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: "I love it! I just dance and wiggle.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: "Buff, this isn't a beauty pageant. Keep that up and your sweet lady's gonna get out that collar with the meat tenderizers on it!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “I don’t run into that one much being a Doberman, but what really bothers me is when parents frighten their children by saying I might bite them. How can they not understand that I would never have been chosen for this line of work if I were the type to even take offense when stepped on?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “I know what you mean, I like kids, cats, and even babies when they are behaving themselves. Not to change the subject, but has anyone seen Buster lately?”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “I clocked him doing about four miles per hour on Broadway last week. Man that old lab can haul! I’m surprised his partner’s left arm isn’t more than twice as long as the right one.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “I hear he is wearing a pinch collar these days.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “What’s that? Meat tenderizer? Pinch collar? I am scared now, and I feel like I have to do a number one!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Don’t fret yourself darlin, you won’t need such a thing unless you insist on dragging your partner down the street like that bull headed Buster. What I hate is that gentle leader thing Mark whips out when all I’m doing is checking out pee-mail. It sure puts a crimp in my social life!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “I like wearing one. I think it gives me an air of distinction, a bit of class. “Not”! At least a real muzzle would command some serious respect.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Rocky: “Heads up, guys. Looks like they’re maybe ready to break up. Nice meeting you Buffy.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Scrape of chair and sounds of the restaurant)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “Rocky rises to his feet in response to the shifting of his partner's chair.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: “Give our best to Sophia if you see her,”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “When his lady leans down to extract her purse from beneath his protective paw, Granger, stands and stretches his spine before circling to her left side.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Looks like we’ll be here awhile, sigh, the man’s ordered half the menu, but does he share! Not a chance! That’s why I helped myself to the stake he put in the sink to defrost for his dinner before we left the house. Won’t he be surprised when he finds nothing but the foil wrapper! Maybe he’ll blame the cat.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Now you just close your puppy ears Miss Buffy! Don’t you go listenin to that scamp!”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Catch you guys later.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Sounds of snores and some puppy yips.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: “Chloe, give Custard a little nuzzle, she seems to have dropped off to sleep.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “She makes such a nice pillow; it’s a shame to wake her.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Tinkle of Amanda’s bell and the sound of a dog shaking her coat into order.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “Amanda gives her silky coat a vigorous shake before moving into guide position.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: “It was nice meeting you all.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dandy: “Same here kid. Come again. We’re a friendly bunch, and we all stick together like wet rawhide.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><u>Narrator:</u> “Buffy wriggles out from under Stacey’s chair and looks up adoringly at the young girl she intends to take good care of for a very long time.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Announcer: Well that’s it from radio G.D.U.I. Tail wags from the Hambone Players. Tune in again for The Dog Club. Till we meet again.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Ending music.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Happy Tails to you,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Until we meet again!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> ******<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>Dog On The Street<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>By DeAnna Quietwater Noriega<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(thirty seconds of lead in music, fade out)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Announcer: "Dog House Productions presents---Dog On The Street! Good evening, this is Mary Beth speaking to you from the GDUI Reception. It has been a tradition at GDUI meetings to go<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> around the room and introduce attendees. Tonight we are going to send our roving reporter out into the room to hear from the four legged convention goers. Please relax, enjoy the snacks and learn what The canine contingent think of the convention." <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving reporter: "I'll begin with the little black lab with the case of the wiggles just entering the room. What is your name young lady and how are you enjoying the convention? Yes you in the dog suit!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: "Oh! Sorry! I didn't know you meant me when you said K9! I'm Buffy and this is my girl Stacey. Last semester she took an oral interpretation of children's literature class, so I know K. stands for kitty and I haven't seen even one kitty let alone nine of them. How do I like the convention? Oh it's really hard work! At college, people get out of my way, but here you have to watch out for swinging sticks and nobody moves to let you get by! But a lot of them are wearing shorts and summer clothes, and I figured out that if you put a cold nose on their bare legs, they jump and you can get through. I love the receptions, there is always some good stuff to eat under the tables. So if you'll excuse me, I think I see a piece of cheese over there with my name on it!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "But Buffy, aren't you supposed to ignore food on the floor? Won't you get in trouble?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Buffy: "I've learned that if I dive for it, Stacey<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>puts that horrible, nasty Gentle Leader on me, but if I lie down like I am being a good girl and stre-e-etch my neck<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>out and just sort of accidentally pick it up. I can get it no problem!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Billie Sue: "Now, honey, if you eat that stuff, you might get sick, and then your<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>little bitty red headed gal will have to leave early, and that would be such a shame cause my Bubba has taken a real shine to her. You might not get to visit with your<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>friends neither, so you just better leave that cheese alone. Besides, it is so bad for your waistline sugar, doncha know?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "And who are you?" <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Billie Sue: "My name is Billie Sue, and my fella here is Jimmy John. But most folks call him Bubba. Ain't that just soooo sweeeet--Bubba and Billie Sue, his Lil' ol' hush puppy guide! But I'm beginning to think that maybe my name has been changed to No damn it! my boy Bubba don't miss those times when I get to sniffin out something interesting. He catches me quicker 'n a bobcat goin<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>after a little ol' squirrel when it comes to leash<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>correctin! That surely is a right proper nuisance!" <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "You aren't one of the three main breeds used for guide dogs I recognize." <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Billie Sue: "Oh my, now don't you go confusin me with one of them pit bulls like some of you Yankees have been doin!! Now I ask you? Who could ever mistake a sweet lil ol gal like me for something that plain ugly? I am a boxer from a fine old southern family." <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "I didn't know that boxers were used as guides."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Billie Sue: "Well, dahlin' they are used when folks have those turrible<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>allergies or have kin folk or friends who might be allergic to dogs.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I was trained here in Florida." <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "So, Billie Sue, you should be used to all of this heat and<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>humidity."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Billie Sue: "I am of course, but since I have a light coat and such fine delicate skin, I don't have the insulation from the heat that the longer haired dogs have. So my Bubba puts these wet neckerchief things round my neck to keep me cool, and they look real pretty too."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Oh, very nice. So what do you think of the convention?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Billie Sue: "Well, it is real busy. Why everyone is just frettin<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>so about tryin to get somewheres in a hurry. They are fussin at their dogs, or<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>swinging those no account canes back and forth, back and forth, and tryin to<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>go here and there. They just need to slow down an take life<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>easy. The elevators ain't gona move any faster if they hurry, so they<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>might as well just rest a spell and sip some good cold sweet tea. They have to<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>remember that we are in the South, and we Southerners just don't go nowheres<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>fast lessen a revenuer is on our tails. We do just luuv to stop and visit." <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Oh, here's a young golden retriever, now. What's your name?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bart: "Butts, butts, butts, so many butts to sniff! Hey! Hey! Butts!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>: "Hey cool, a microphone! Yo! Babe, I'll pick you up later!" (laughing)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Uh, right. And what's your name again?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bart: "I'm Bart. Who the hell are you?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Bart, what's your favorite part of the convention so far?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bart: "Getting other dogs in trouble. (laughter) My person sits up at the<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>front a lot and wears the headphone things so I get to look out on the<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>crowd. Dude, if you lay under a table and just look at them, they go crazy.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You can just stare into their little eyes and make them bark at you! Then<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>you lay down real quick and pretend you're asleep! It's beautiful!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "I see. Anything else you'd like to say to the folks?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bart: "Eat my harness? Nah, really, conventions are cool and there are some<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>really hot chicks here! Peace Man!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Here's an unusual dog. You must be Molly. I've heard a lot about you. Tell us a<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>little about yourself. You're a Labra/doodle, right?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Molly: "Like, Noooo, I am not. I am a Lab/Poodle Cross. Big difference."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Oh really? You are quite unique in appearance. Could you describe<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>yourself for the blind people here?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Molly: "I am like a lovely Champaign cream thanks to my White Poodle father<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>and Yellow Lab mom. I've got long legs and an athletic build with this curly<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>tail up over my back, see? I have like these blush highlights that go with<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>my collar here, see the hot pink? Nice huh?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Very nice indeed. What do you think of the convention so far?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Molly: "Oh, it's OK. Some of these dogs and their people have like no fashion<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>sense at all though. Haven't they ever heard of Doggy Gap, Eddie Bowwowers, or Bloomingtails? I checked out the exhibits, and they didn't even have like J.C. Puppies or Abercrombie and Bitch, let alone Barks and Noble! I mean like it is a major drag, but I can deal. Now the relief areas, that's a<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>different matter. Gross me out!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "So you don't like going out there huh?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Molly: "duh, as if. It beats going in the restaurant. Not by much, but like this is supposed to be a class act hotel and they don't even provide indoor plumbing for dogs!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Any other thoughts for our convention audience?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Molly: "Yeah, like, I'm hot, I'm smart and I'm coming off the elevator! Get<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>the heck out of my way you lousy cane drivers!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Here's a laid back labby boy taking a snooze. Let's see what he has to say. Well Hello good looking! What's your name?" <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Waylon: (Yawn, groan) "Waylon! Whatsit to ya? I don't<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>see a tennis ball or any treats in your hand, so what do you want?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "I was just wondering how you are enjoying the convention and if you had any suggestions for things we could improve on for the future?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Waylon: (scratches) "Well now that you mention it, I personally think it would be great if you could provide a grass tennis court with a few tennis balls to<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>play with, maybe some of those free treat machines, and a pool just for<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>the dogs. I really hate having to put up with all those people screaming<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>at me when I go for a swim."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Sounds to me like you would rather relax and not have to work as a guide dog."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Waylon: "Now don't get me started! Guiding's okay because I get to go everywhere and don't have to hang out at home while my Nancy goes on trips without me, but sometimes the traffic, the crowds and all the rules can get to the best of us. Let's just say that if you ask me, a guide dog's theme song ought to be "Mama, don't let your puppies grow up to be guide dogs!" <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>….<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Now here comes a handsome pair, a lovely golden and a dignified shepherd. How are you two enjoying the convention?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: "Oh my lord! I am so flusterated! I had to keep walking past the door and showing Mark the elevator, the water fountain and the restroom and pretending I didn't know where he wanted to go while I waited for Granger! I know I'm a blonde, but I just hate being stereo-typed as an air-head. I thought it was particularly clever to play cat's cradle with my leash when Mark stopped to ask directions. It took him a good five minutes to get my front paws untangled!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: "My apologies Amanda, I have been working hard all day. My lady is running for a position on the ACB Board of Directors and she got up at five and has kept me going to meetings and caucuses all over this hotel. So if you don't mind, I will just settle her here in this chair to stretch out and rest my weary paws."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Amanda: "It's just that you knew I was trying to get your lady interested in my Mark! She's a lawyer and he's a college professor! It's perfect! They are both professionals and besides, her hair matches my coat! I wanted to be sure to get them seated at the same table!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "I never realized that you guide dogs took an interest in the personal lives of your handlers."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Granger: "Of course we do! My lady belongs to me! I want her to be happy and I want to be certain she gets only the best! You would be surprised at the dummkopfs I have had to run off to keep them from bothering her."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Custard: "You better believe it! Hi you guys. Can I squeeze my fella in here at your table. That woman is looking for him again and I have no intentions of letting the Pillsbury dough girl evict me from my place on his bed if I can help it. I'm Custard, but don't quote me on the other stuff. Let's just say we don't only keep our folks from getting turned into road pizza, but we also take seriously our job of keeping them out of trouble 24 7. It's a tough job but someone's got to do it! Speaking of pizza, where's the food?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Here comes a lovely pair of yellow labs. We certainly have a great turn-out of handsome dogs in attendance tonight."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Fowler: "Hello Miss, bet you've worked up a thirst… Now, how about a beer? This cash bar should be able to help us out. I feel it's my duty as the<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>first gentleman's dog to see that you get treated right."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving Reporter: "Sounds like a plan to me."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Gretch: "Excuse me! I'm Gretch, the GDUI President's dog and he's Fowler and belongs to the president's husband. Fowluur! You may be good looking, but you don't have any money and isn't the operative word in cash bar cash."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Fowler: "That's where you are wrong! Bill put his wallet in my harness sign pocket for safekeeping! So miss, if you just follow me, I'll get you something to wet your whistle."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Roving reporter: "Lead on Fetch and Growler! I mean Gretch and Fowler! Maybe I'd better stick to a soft drink tonight. This is your GDUI roving reporter signing off and wishing you all have a lovely evening visiting with your friends above and below the tables."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Announcer: “This evening's entertainment was brought to you by The Hambone Players. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'>Happy tails to you ‘til we meet again!"<span style='font-size:12.0pt'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>About the Author:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:31.5pt;text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>DeAnna Quietwater Noriega is half Apache, and a quarter Chippewa. She is the mother of three, two daughters and an adopted blind son. She was the eldest of five children in a close-knit American Indian family. As a result of congenital glaucoma, She became totally blind at the age of eight. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:31.5pt;text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:31.5pt;text-align:justify'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'> DeAnna was mainstreamed in public schools in Texas, Michigan and California. She completed a Bachelor’s degree in Social Science and did a year toward a Master’s in Social work at California State University Stanislaus. While attending college, she taught independent living skills to the blind for the California Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. She worked as a caseworker in Santa Clara County, California before joining the United States Peace Corps. DeAnna and her sighted husband met while attending college and he joined her in the Peace Corps. They worked together to establish a school for blind children in the independent nation of Western Samoa. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:31.5pt;text-align:justify'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoBodyTextIndent><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>Upon her return to the U.S., DeAnna spent the next seven years at home raising children. During this time, she became active in the American Council of the Blind, Guide Dog Users Inc. Taught Braille, instructed breastfeeding mothers as a LA Leche Leader, was a friendly visitor at nursing homes and worked as a volunteer intake clerk, at the welfare office. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoBodyTextIndent style='margin-left:.5in;text-indent:0in'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>DeAnna and her husband opened two Papa Murphy's Pizza franchise stores. She served as operations manager, doing inventory, ordering, supervising staff and handling the cash register and phone during late afternoons and evenings. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoBodyTextIndent style='text-indent:0in'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoBodyTextIndent style='margin-left:1.0in'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>After fourteen successful years, they sold the restaurants to move to Colorado where their two daughters were enrolled in college. She kept busy working as an instructor of Braille and independent living skills with an adult education program in Colorado Springs. She remained active in many organizations of the visually impaired serving as an officer at local state and national levels. She served as a founding board member of a nonprofit organization that opened a blind center in Colorado Springs. She established The Braille Books to Keep project for blind children in both Oregon and Colorado. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoBodyTextIndent style='margin-left:1.0in'><b><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>DeAnna has been a guide dog user for over 50 years and has taken an active part in passing legislation protecting service animals. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=TitleName><span lang=EN-NZ>Her writing has appeared in magazines such as: <u>Dialogue</u>, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><u><span lang=EN-NZ>Angels on Earth, <o:p></o:p></span></u></p><p class=TitleName><u><span lang=EN-NZ>The Braille Forum</span></u><span lang=EN-NZ>, <u>Generations-Native Literature</u>, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><span lang=EN-NZ>The Vision Aware Blog (Visually Impaired? Now What?)<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><span lang=EN-NZ><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><span lang=EN-NZ>Anthologies: <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><u><span lang=EN-NZ>Behind Our Eyes</span></u><span lang=EN-NZ>,<u><o:p></o:p></u></span></p><p class=TitleName><span lang=EN-NZ>Behind Our Eyes— Second A Second look, <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><u><span lang=EN-NZ>2+4=1</span></u><span lang=EN-NZ>,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=TitleName><a name="_Toc432602339"></a><a name="_Toc432598598"></a><a name="_Toc432593594"></a><a name="_Toc430772214"><span lang=EN-NZ>AWETHOLOGY LIGHT</span></a><u><span lang=EN-NZ>, My Blindness Isn’t Black,</span></u><span lang=EN-NZ> <u>Where We Read the Wind, Turning The Clocks Forward Again,<o:p></o:p></u></span></p><p class=TitleName><u><span lang=EN-NZ>Storm Country.<o:p></o:p></span></u></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"'><o:p> </o:p></span></p></div></body></html>