<html><head><style type="text/css"><!-- DIV {margin:0px;} --></style></head><body><div style="font-size: 13px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><blockquote style="color: black; padding-left: 5px; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; margin-left: 0px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 255); border-left-width: 2px; border-left-style: solid;"><p><dqnoriega@gmail.com>[comments for Leonard<br>the c is missing in the 2nd ice cream in my copy<br>Interesting relating politics as a type of warfare<br>Sadly, this is one of the less attractive natures of man.<br>You hinted at sometimes it is necessary to prevent someone we are sure would be willing to use the destructive weapon even if it meant destroying themselves in the process.<br>Ah, poor little mice. <br>I like this humorous ending.</dqnoriega@gmail.com></p><p><dqnoriega@gmail.com>[comments for Marsha<br>The sentence "You wanted to surprise us."<br>The idea that the unborn child would have any attitude along this line doesn't seem realistic.<br>Maybe, You were a mystery.<br>This still troubled me on the second read through.<br>I was confused at first with the mention of the brother.<br>The aunt & brother don't seem to belong together.<br>What if you made 2 lines about the birth date & aunt<br>omit the Or before and say<br>Will you walk in your big brother's footsteps?<br>Or, put the line about walking in the big brother's footsteps after your eyes follow him...<br>On the second read through, I didn't experience this confusion. when I noticed the comma after the previous line.<br>The lines of the last stanza are long, but they still work.<br>A wonderful poem to mark her first year.</dqnoriega@gmail.com></p><p><dqnoriega@gmail.com>[comments for DeAnna<br>he was a lovely sensitive German shepherd dog.<br>dog. is redundant. we know he is a dog. you've already called him a K9 partner.<br>In our discussion, you mentioned that “German Shephard Dog” is actually the name.<br>Maybe there is some way to keep from repeating this word.<br>poem<br>It took me a while to realize you were comparing the 2 dogs.<br>It could just be that I was slow to catch on, but what if you put the lines about Griffin first.<br>I think then, it would be clear from the start that you are talking to griffin and comparing him to the other dog.<br>or maybe instead of the pronoun, use the name of the dog when referring to Gentry .<br>The poem is beautiful.<br>It wasn't until the second read through that I made the connection between Griffin guiding you through a difficult path and your mention of him pushing into the bushes to give you room.<br>Again, in the letter Griffin wrote. Maybe there is some way to avoid repeating the word dog when describing his breed.<br>I laughed about him making someone move to find you a seat.<br>I like Griffin showing how he has grown into the job. Much like a student might in order to make his trainer/teacher proud.<br>At the end of the letter, Since Griffin is writing this letter to the boy, shouldn't he address him directly?<br>Instead of "a young boy..." say You taught me...<br>I'm thinking The idea of cloud dancers relates to your native American heritage. I thought this was a nice way to describe it.<br>his puppy raiser, trainer an and his own hard work...<br>If he is writing this letter to his puppy raiser, wouldn't he say something like "thanks to your expert raising, my trainer, and my own hard work.<br>The poems work well in this one.<br>This is one of the best chapters.<br>Reading through these chapters as we critique them has been an enormous help to me in understanding what it means to have a guide dog and the process of getting one.</dqnoriega@gmail.com></p><p><dqnoriega@gmail.com>[comments for Sally<br>I'm invisioning a cold winter night.<br>It shows the aquisition of patience and indurance that come with the experience of getting older and dealing with the inevetable breakdown of our bodies.<br>No need to jump up and check things out, morning is soon enough.<br>did you mean <br>Tucking my blankets closed?<br><br></dqnoriega@gmail.com></p><dqnoriega@gmail.com><sitting.duck@springmail.com><group1@bluegrasspals.com></group1@bluegrasspals.com></sitting.duck@springmail.com></dqnoriega@gmail.com></blockquote></div></body></html>