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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Hi,\<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Deanna’s post reminded me that I haven’t sent my comments.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Here they are and happy holidays.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>November 29 comments<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## D'Jonna And The Road Monster <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This story definitely kept my interest.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You might want to work on some name variety. You have a lot of names that sound or are the same: D'Jonna, John, Jack, a nickname for John, and later in the story the sighted man is also John.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Why couldn't she hear the marker? I should have come to the other corner by now.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>The story is written in the third person, and this sentence is in the first person. I suggest changing "I" to she.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You might want to remove some of the turning and walking down hallways.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Was the object on the table a type writer?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>It would be interesting to know how D'Jonna and John were going to stay in contact. Maybe that comes up in another chapter?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## Dark and Lonely Times<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Deanna<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is a well written and interesting chapter. It demonstrates the emotional bond of a working team. I like the descriptions of Annie's mother. Were laws different in the 60s? you might want to explain that. Today, an 18-year-old is an adult.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## Buddy<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I was a waitress at an ice cream parlor the summer after my senior year , <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>There is a space before the comma.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like stupidest for the context of the story. If you are worried about the correctness of word usage, you could try most stupid or more stupid.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Girls in a group are so typical. They gang up on the outsider, demanding to know what she is doing with someone else's guy, and when she says she isn't really with him, they turn on her. She can't win.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>It sounds like buddy had a sense that you were lost and when you were sure of where you were going, he headed for home.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like the ending with you seeing the silhouette of a dog when you closed your eyes.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This was an enjoyable story and I think we have all been at parties where we didn't feel comfortable as kids.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## SallyLoving Laurence: October 2017<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sally<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like that the piece begins with background on why you chose to begin a journal in October, and by filling the reader in on your history.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>but my polio survivor husband Sandy, <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Maybe, but my husband Sandy, a polio survivor <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like the way that you demonstrate the ways that you, your husband, and your service dogs are a part of the community. You also demonstrate problem solving skills and show how a dog guide user and a dog guide are contributing members of the community.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>