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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Can’t Find the Words<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I loved the flow of words, the imagery and the fluttery pafce. This isn’t the kind of writers block I usually have. Mine is more a total stall out and free fall into emptiness. It is a blank page where I can’t even put down a sentence. Yours is a lack of concentration as you struggle to pull your mind back from distractions. Excellent. I can’t think of anything you need to rework or do for this. It would be a good short article for Magnets and Ladders writer’s techniques page.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Kevin,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Saga of Kofi<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Kofi Sadiqi played his drums (I like this sentence and how you use it ,in repetition.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>children in droves would often gather round <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I would leave out (would often gather round. and replace it with (gathered around.) This piece has a rhythm to it and if the number of sylibles is important to it, you can play with it and leave a pause for one sylible. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Little hands, at first tentative,(tentatively?) (would begin) (use began) I think it is stronger in past tence. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> to perfectly clap an ancient rhythm (not so new) to them Awkward phrasing. Perhaps (so familiar?)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Stomp, skipping, energetic feet(either stomping skipping, or stomp, skip)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>caught by contagion of the urgent beat<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(wouldchange to they) dance complex steps known by some currently urban name:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>such a clear example of knowledge of self from deep with in<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Kofi Sadiqi played his drums.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Sometimes, young rough cut brothers with the Hollywood baring of gangster lean<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>pretended total oblivion to the things engendered <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>by the red-gold-black and green.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>But unaccountably, whenever these (not acknowledged) “perhaps unacknowledged” warriors strolled by<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>their walk became a bit more rhythmic,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>although this they would surely deny,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Kofi Sadiqi played his drums.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>He just loved to pound-tap-slap those resonating skins,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>make all the pretty sisters twist and move<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>with the whirling passion of buoyant river stone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>And of course, they did love him too.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A thin shabby body dashiki clad, jet black hair braided oh so fine,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Whenever he came around the hood,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>they thought of much better time,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>that is<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Kofi Sadiqi played his drums.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Then came that bright hot summer day,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Brother Kofi Sadiqi was really driven to play.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>With fingers feeling as if on fire,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>He was truly stirred by the crowd,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Somebody commented in a shouting voice, "Lawd have mercy, dat boy's gonna make his mamma and daddy sho nuff proud!"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>But, just as he seemed the most inspired by the pull of ancestor song,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>the police drove up and shot Kofi dead,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Disturbing the peace<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>his officially stated wrong.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Now, elderly men and women, mammas and babbas of us all<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>lament the murder of Kofi<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>in the silence of each chilling dawn.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>In the space where they once half heartedly complained about the uproar that his entertaining raised,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>there sets glaring an absence of bold reminders for them <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>of long ago more youthful days.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Visual memories of community,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>an almost griot among his people,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>illuminated by simulated rays of the sun.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>On the side of an old brick building<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>there is a mural to Kofi, a fitting tribute would say some.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>But, for most of us it's merely a painted shadow of<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When Kofi Sadiqi played his drums. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> I really liked this piece.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Well WishingI like the title.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>By: Bli Duck Should this be Sly Duck?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" she thought.(You can enclose thoughts in single quotes, or use Italics or something like that to show they are different than the rest of the text.) I liked the ending twist very much. Other than a few punctuation things it is good.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Mary Jo,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Laika<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This made me feel sad. I have a hard time with cruelty to children, animals and anyone who is defenseless.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>They only thing I would have changed is the word (unknowingly) Perhaps without consent? <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>As always, your technique is excellent.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I think this was an interesting cross section of our group. Good work everyone!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>D.Q.N.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>