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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Sorry this is so late in coming. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Conflicts of the Heart,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(Don sat in front of me) Perhaps facing me, or across from me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> (is hand) should be”his hand”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(sent the child support) Perhaps “sent child support”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(I was down to 98 pounds after the divorce and all the stress.) Perhaps, “after the divorce and all of the stress involved, I had dropped down to weighing 98 pounds.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(sat it down) perhaps, “put or placed itin front of me.” This refers to the milk shake.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(I had two kids) should be changed to (had kids) so as not to repeat two kids so close together. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You have a stranger bumping in to the little girl but Paul taking the blame. This is a little unclear.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You have Don aware that she has concerns over the fact that they are of different faiths and then she brings it up later. I would leave his thoughts out until they discuss the issue.He could explain his doubts then.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Perhaps you could have the kids sent up to the roof before the discussion and then the kids urging her to say yes part after the kids return.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is a gentle old fashioned story that might be of interest to a women’s magazine.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Kevin,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>A Dirty Contribution<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Perhaps change the title to something like “Uncle Lenny’s Pound Cake”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Otherwise, I liked it. Funny and downhome.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marcia,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Two Good Eyes and Six Strong Legs<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>“Crack? I at first thought she had run you into a tree and was confused by why you praised her. I would leave this out and begin with the line: “Close your eyes,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I would leave out the word bushy and make the list ofobjects the dog signals separated by commas instead of a string of (ands.)<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>(encroaching the sidewalk) I would add “on the sidewalk”<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is a good description of walking with a guide dog. It might be a difference in school protocols, but I am used to using “Hup-UP” to encourage a dog to pick up the pace and you use it a lot instead of forward to get her moving. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Perhaps using it a little less would seem less repetitious. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Mary JO,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>The Intercourse<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This captures the innocence of childhood.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I doubt that children today are as sheltered or uninformed. This topic was difficult for my own mother explain. I remember her broaching the topic while I was having an appendicitis attack. She thought I was experiencing pre-menustral cramps. She had three more years to polish her speech! Excellent work.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p></div></body></html>