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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Session 5 Comments<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## Doghouse Productions presents: School Days, a skit written by DeAnna <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is cute. Students waiting to receive their dog guide are curious about the dog that will be assigned to them. They wonder if the dog will like them and be a good match. This shows the other side, if dogs could think and communicate on the same level as humans. It kind of reminds me of the book, "The art of Racing in the Rain."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I especially like the dog with the owner with the big feet and the golden that is worried about life on a farm. The hiding bad behavior from trainers is also cute.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Look for space runs in some lines.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## Time For A Change<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bonnie<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like this. It could be flash fiction or the beginning of a longer story. You have told us a lot about Maggie, the main character. I think people think that work at home is a solution, but Maggie shows that you still have to work and work can be wearing.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Check the whole piece for space runs.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You have a stray comma here.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Maybe I should get a laptop. , <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You need a space after the comma here.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>doing dishes,gathering the laundry together, and preparing a simple breakfast she wondered. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>“it seemed everyone needed something,” Maggie muttered. I don’t even have time for me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I think seems might work better.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Another fix.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Outside, the world waited. filled with glorious colors and sounds, Maggie couldn’t wait to become a part of it. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Maybe:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Outside, the world waited, filled with glorious colors and sounds. Maggie couldn’t wait to become a part of it. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>When our meal is finished, I will suggest a walk in beauty. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Maybe nature's beauty.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I really like this and other descriptions of nature.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>She thought of the stream just down the road and remembered the music of the water as it lapped the rocks as it flowed around her. She remembered willow trees, crisp autumn air, and the music of birdsong as she had walked along. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## Children of Dust<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Cleora<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is a cute story. I like the idea of Adam riding around on a Pterosaurs herding and caring for injured animals while Eve is gathering food and caring for injured birds. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I found the bible quotes distracting to the story.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Some fixes.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Pterosaurs' should be Pterosaurs's. It sounds awkward, but since he was putting ointment on the ear of one Pterosaurs rather than to a group of them, there should be an apostrophe s. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Okay. We are both correct. Here is what Grammar Girl says. I'll paste the text, since the website is really busy with adds and sighted bling. I'll post the link too because her site is a good resource and she has podcasts.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> almost forgot that the movie Bridget Jones’s Baby is coming out this weekend until my friend Stephanie asked whether it would be Jones’ Baby, or Jones’s<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Baby, or maybe Joneses’ Baby. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>‘Jones’ Is Singular <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Since it's just Bridget, she is a single Jones. It is the baby of Bridget Jones. We aren't talking about a family of <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>plural Joneses.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bridget Jones's Baby with an apostrophe<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>How to Make ‘Jones’ Possessive<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You can properly <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>make Jones possessive two different ways.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> (A lot of people were taught one way or the other, but it’s actually a style choice.) <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>If you’re following Associated Press style, you add just a lone apostrophe after the S, but if you’re following the Chicago Manual of Style, you add an<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>apostrophe and an S after Jones to make it possessive. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>It's Bridget Jones's Baby and not Bridget Jones' Baby because the studio decided to go with Chicago style. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Looking at the official name of the movie on the posters, it looks like the filmmakers decided to go with Chicago style because her name is written Jones’s:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bridget Jones’s Baby. So that's the only reason it's Bridget Jones's Baby and not Bridget Jones' Baby—the studio decided to go with Chicago style. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>That’s your Quick and Dirty Tip: You can make names that end with S possessive two different ways—with just an apostrophe or with an apostrophe and another<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>S—it just depends on which style guide you follow, so be sure to look it up. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/why-it%E2%80%99s-bridget-jones%E2%80%99s-not-jones%E2%80%99-baby <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Some punctuation changes.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>"There, big boy, he said, patting the huge flying reptile's forehead gently. "I wonder what it is like to soar high above the earth the way you do?"<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Should be<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>"There, big boy," he said, patting the huge flying reptile's forehead gently. "I wonder what it is like to soar high above the earth the way you do."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>An image of Adam sitting on its back appeared in Adams' mind.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Maybe in his mind.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>"why not." <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>The w needs to be capitalized, and there should be a question mark at the end.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>"don't be late," "you know how the veggies start to wilt if they aren't eaten soon after picked."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>There is an extra quote here.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>It sounds like Eve made a fancy meal.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My favorite line is:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>He tried to cough the piece up but it stuck in his throat creating a permanent bulge on the front of his neck.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>## Crossings<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Marilyn<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I like the way each stanza begins with a year. The fact that the dates don't go in chronological order makes the reader stop to think about each crossing. Each situation invokes a flood of images. When you mentioned the months and your book, I knew why this seemed familiar but not.<o:p></o:p></p></div></body></html>