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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>blind attention deficit disorder<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is a piece that we can relate to. The line about care givers needing care givers made me chuckle. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You could eliminate the words "Then" and :"So" from some sentences. You could also fix some run on sentences.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>In this example I eliminated the word "so" and fixed the run on.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Also, I considered that maybe I could just mow the little spot myself. So, I went out to the garage and found the lawn mower and electric cord and went out and found the end of the hose and moved it so I wouldn't run over it, plugged in one of the cords, got it plugged into my lawn mower, hit the button and was rewarded with the sound of the mower starting up. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Here it is revised.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Also, I considered that maybe I could just mow the little spot myself. I went out to the garage and found the lawn mower and electric cord. I found the end of the hose and moved it so I wouldn't run over it, plugged in one of the cords, got it plugged into my lawn mower, hit the button and was rewarded with the sound of the mower starting up. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Here is an example of how you could eliminate a "then."<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Then, I decided to go down as far as possible along the side of the house. I got most of the way to the gate before running out of cord. Then, when I got back to the drive it seemed that my cord was tangled in my mower wheel and suddenly the mower stopped. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Revised version:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Then I decided to go down as far as possible along the side of the house. I got most of the way to the gate before running out of cord. When I got back to the drive it seemed that my cord was tangled in my mower wheel and suddenly the mower stopped. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>This is a humorous piece.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Kate mentioned that you might want to work this into a Pantoum.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Here is the link to my article on the Pantoum from the Spring/Summer edition of Magnets and Ladders.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><a href="http://www.magnetsandladders.org/wp/?p=103">http://www.magnetsandladders.org/wp/?p=103</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>